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The Babylon Bee
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Aug 6 2021 · 7:30 PM
1.47k views

Vaccination Rates Plummet As More Celebrities Say They Won't Hang Out With The Unvaccinated

U.S. - In a disastrous turn of affairs for the push to get more people vaccinated, rates have plummeted after Jennifer Aniston and other celebrities say they won't communicate or hang out with people who aren't vaccinated.Aniston has vowed to block and cease all communication with the unvaccinated, ...

babylonbee.com

163Upvotes
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Cori Bush Hires Mercenary Army To Arrest Anyone Who Doesn't Want To Defund The Police

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Representative Cori Bush has reportedly hired her own army of private mercenaries to go out and arrest anyone who doesn't want to defund the police.She unveiled the black ops military force on the Capitol steps today as she gave an impassioned speech about defunding the police.'If...

babylonbee.com

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Man Getting Evicted Wishes There Were Some Way He Could Go Out And Exchange His Labor For Money To Pay Rent

MARTON TOWNSHIP, TX, - Ryan Flowers has a problem: he's getting evicted. His evil landlord has asked him to vacate the premises, since he hasn't taken care of one tiny detail in over a year: 'paying rent.'If only there were some way I could go out and exchange my labor or services for money I could ...

babylonbee.com

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Church Combats COVID By Adding Essential Oils To Fog Machine

YORBA LINDA, CA - Crosspointe Roadse Churche has been reopened for services most of this year. But with the new variant spreading, staffers wanted to make sure their congregation was as protected as possible. So, they've added essential oils to the church's haze machine.Now, as the sanctuary fills w...

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More from The Babylon Bee

Cori Bush Hires Mercenary Army To Arrest Anyone Who Doesn't Want To Defund The Police

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Representative Cori Bush has reportedly hired her own army of private mercenaries to go out and arrest anyone who doesn't want to defund the police.She unveiled the black ops military force on the Capitol steps today as she gave an impassioned speech about defunding the police.'If...

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Man Getting Evicted Wishes There Were Some Way He Could Go Out And Exchange His Labor For Money To Pay Rent

MARTON TOWNSHIP, TX, - Ryan Flowers has a problem: he's getting evicted. His evil landlord has asked him to vacate the premises, since he hasn't taken care of one tiny detail in over a year: 'paying rent.'If only there were some way I could go out and exchange my labor or services for money I could ...

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Church Combats COVID By Adding Essential Oils To Fog Machine

YORBA LINDA, CA - Crosspointe Roadse Churche has been reopened for services most of this year. But with the new variant spreading, staffers wanted to make sure their congregation was as protected as possible. So, they've added essential oils to the church's haze machine.Now, as the sanctuary fills w...

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