NEW YORK, NY - Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the world’s smartest socialist, is always talking about the evils of capitalism. Now tragedy has struck her with what she sees as a clear failure of that economic system: She has accidentally super-glued her face to her coffee table.'See what c...
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TOKYO - People were stunned after the U.S. women's soccer team lost to Sweden in the Olympics this week by a score of 3-0 - until the team revealed they are boycotting scoring any goals until racism is defeated.'Yeah, we didn't score any goals against Sweden last night, but that was totally on purpo...
babylonbee.com
HOUSTON, TX - Portfolio diversification: It’s a basic principle of investing. Unfortunately, many Christians believe they’re supposed to put all their treasure in Heaven, which simply is not smart investing. Pastor Joel Osteen, though, is promoting a stronger portfolio.'Treasure in Heaven is pretty ...
babylonbee.com
ATLANTA, GA - CNN has unveiled an exciting new subscription service, CNN+, that blocks all CNN programming from view for the low, low price of $15 per month. The move is expected to save CNN from bankruptcy, as the highly anticipated feature already has millions of sign-ups. Many thought CNN would n...
babylonbee.com
TOKYO - People were stunned after the U.S. women's soccer team lost to Sweden in the Olympics this week by a score of 3-0 - until the team revealed they are boycotting scoring any goals until racism is defeated.'Yeah, we didn't score any goals against Sweden last night, but that was totally on purpo...
babylonbee.com
HOUSTON, TX - Portfolio diversification: It’s a basic principle of investing. Unfortunately, many Christians believe they’re supposed to put all their treasure in Heaven, which simply is not smart investing. Pastor Joel Osteen, though, is promoting a stronger portfolio.'Treasure in Heaven is pretty ...
babylonbee.com
ATLANTA, GA - CNN has unveiled an exciting new subscription service, CNN+, that blocks all CNN programming from view for the low, low price of $15 per month. The move is expected to save CNN from bankruptcy, as the highly anticipated feature already has millions of sign-ups. Many thought CNN would n...
babylonbee.com