Athlete So Oppressed By America That She's Representing America In The Olympics
EUGENE, OR - In a move many are hailing as both 'stunning' and 'brave', hammer-throwing athlete Gwen Berry turned her back on the flag as the national anthem played after she qualified to represent America in the Olympics.'America stinks, and it has oppressed me my entire life,' said Berry. 'My qual...
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LONDON - Mumford and Sons banjo player Winston Marshall had a rude awakening this morning when he found the bloody, decapitated corpse of his banjo at the edge of his bed. While authorities are still attempting to uncover the specifics of the individual or group of individuals who may have committed...
Horrifed Mumford And Sons Member Wakes Up Next To Decapitated Banjo
INDIANAPOLIS, IN - A spokeswoman for the WNBA announced today that in order to make games more interesting, the league will immediately switch to using Little Tikes® hoops for all regular season games. 'We’re very excited to be partnering with Little Tikes® to increase the popularity of the WNBA,' s...
To Make Games More Interesting, WNBA To Switch To Little Tikes Hoop
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Whitehouse briefing room was abuzz Friday when White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki introduced a fun new tradition of shoving fresh-baked cookies into the mouths of journalists daring to ask inconvenient questions.One reporter raised her hand to voice concerns over the ethics...
Jen Psaki Frantically Shoves Cookies Into Mouths Of Journalists To Prevent Them From Asking Questions
