WORLD - Thousands of scientists around the world are looking for new work after they realized the science is settled and there was no need for them anymore. 'The science is settled,' said climatologist Blorg Norbergrobben as he hung his head sadly. 'I heard that on CNN. What am I going to do with my...
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PORTLAND, OR - In a startling press conference this week, Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler announced he will be cracking down on Antifa rioters before things get out of hand and they start doing some real damage.'This Antifa group is starting to worry me,' said Wheeler while standing in front of the smold...
babylonbee.com
SACRAMENTO, CA - There wasn't a dry eye in the press room at the governor's office today, as Gavin Newsom bravely announced he was transgender just after Caitlyn Jenner declared a gubernatorial run.The move is seen by many as an attempt to one-up Jenner with another level of intersectionality and el...
babylonbee.com
PAWTUCKET, RI - Hasbro announced today an exciting new playset for kids and little innocent babies: 'My First Knife Fight,' to be released under its Playskool brand aimed at toddlers.The playset features real shivs kids can use to stab each other in an innocent street fight. Including a variety of k...
babylonbee.com
PORTLAND, OR - In a startling press conference this week, Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler announced he will be cracking down on Antifa rioters before things get out of hand and they start doing some real damage.'This Antifa group is starting to worry me,' said Wheeler while standing in front of the smold...
babylonbee.com
SACRAMENTO, CA - There wasn't a dry eye in the press room at the governor's office today, as Gavin Newsom bravely announced he was transgender just after Caitlyn Jenner declared a gubernatorial run.The move is seen by many as an attempt to one-up Jenner with another level of intersectionality and el...
babylonbee.com
PAWTUCKET, RI - Hasbro announced today an exciting new playset for kids and little innocent babies: 'My First Knife Fight,' to be released under its Playskool brand aimed at toddlers.The playset features real shivs kids can use to stab each other in an innocent street fight. Including a variety of k...
babylonbee.com