MINNEAPOLIS, MN - In preparation for the results of the Derek Chauvin trial, local business owner Candace Farnsworth has increased her peaceful protest insurance coverage. 'I've been doing business in the city for 32 years,' she said to reporters. 'I fully support BLM and their wonderful peaceful pr...
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WASHINGTON, D.C. - According to sources, former representative Ron Paul was seen disguising the Federal Reserve building as a Nike store in hopes of getting BLM and Antifa rioters to burn the place down.Shortly after the new sign was hung up, witnesses say a large crowd gathered outside to loot the ...
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SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY - According to sources, local English major Charlie Miller was able to ace her final exam by simply writing in the word 'racism!' for every answer.'Yeah, I completely forgot to study last night so I figured I would try it,' she said. '90% of my ...
babylonbee.com
WALTHAM, MA - Kenny Stone always trusts the science. That’s why, despite getting vaccinated, he’s listening to Dr. Anthony Fauci and the CDC and continuing to wear a mask, even when outside. 'There’s still a risk I could get the virus out there,' said Stone. 'It’s a pretty large number -- like ten m...
babylonbee.com
WASHINGTON, D.C. - According to sources, former representative Ron Paul was seen disguising the Federal Reserve building as a Nike store in hopes of getting BLM and Antifa rioters to burn the place down.Shortly after the new sign was hung up, witnesses say a large crowd gathered outside to loot the ...
babylonbee.com
SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY - According to sources, local English major Charlie Miller was able to ace her final exam by simply writing in the word 'racism!' for every answer.'Yeah, I completely forgot to study last night so I figured I would try it,' she said. '90% of my ...
babylonbee.com
WALTHAM, MA - Kenny Stone always trusts the science. That’s why, despite getting vaccinated, he’s listening to Dr. Anthony Fauci and the CDC and continuing to wear a mask, even when outside. 'There’s still a risk I could get the virus out there,' said Stone. 'It’s a pretty large number -- like ten m...
babylonbee.com