A month ago, Super Smash Bros. Ultimate released. That means more than enough time has passed and we can start issuing demands for what we want to see in the next installment of the franchise, so here are 6 things that NEED to be in Smash 6:

1. Every Pokemon ever

The “Everyone is Here” ad campaign was blatant false advertising. According to Bulbapedia there are 810 known species of Pokemon but only like 60 of them are in Smash Ultimate. Sakurai’s deliberate slap in the face to Pokemon fans needs to be rectified immediately. All 810 species should be either playable or in a Poke Ball, even if it means deleting minor characters like Dr. Mario or Link to make extra space. It’s whatever year Smash 6 releases, Nintendo, straighten up.

2. Nintendo buying Microsoft

Like everyone else, we’re huge fans of Banjo-Kazooie and want to see him in Smash. Unfortunately, Mr. Kazooie’s IP is owned by Microsoft so this is a tricky proposition. What would solve the problem is Nintendo just buying Microsoft and bringing Banjo-Kazooie back home to the company that never owned him! As a bonus, Nintendo would also inherit Microsoft’s lesser properties and bring them into Smash as assist trophies, such as Blinx, Mr. Halo and Windows.

3. Gender-swaps

If the popularity of Bowsette has taught us anything… well, it hasn’t taught us anything, but people want gender-swaps nevertheless! Every character should have a gender-swapped counterpart, and then, in the interest of full equality, those gender-swaps should get gender-swaps too (like Male Bowsette or Male Linkle… can you imagine?). By our count that’s a shitload of new characters, so get started on this one early, Nintendo.

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5. Make it playable on the Nintendo GameCube, the only good console to exist

Just being able to use the GameCube controller isn’t enough. For a fully authentic experience, we need to be able to play the next Smash game in a real GameCube in crisp, 480i graphics. Nintendo needs to understand that not everybody will own whatever system is going to follow the Switch, but EVERYBODY owns the GameCube, assuming the small circle of competitive Melee players we follow constitutes everybody!

6. In fact, just re-release Melee

You know what, forget about Smash 6. It’s obvious that nothing else in this franchise, or world, matters except for Smash Melee anyways. Re-release the only quality video game the world has ever seen and call it a career, Nintendo.

6 Things We Need to See for Smash 6