He's gone now. I was out for a bit. I just got back in. and it's hitting me all over again. He's gone. he is gone forever. my wonderful emerson cat is gone forever. I will never get to pet him again. I will never sleep next to him again. I will never play with him, talk to him, sit him in my lap, or carry him around. never again. I feel utterly desolate. when I keep my mind occupied, i'm almost human and normal. the second I stop and think about it...I'm in ruins.