People who are willing to be nice to you are often unwilling or unable to help you improve, whereas people who can guide you towards improvement are often pricks. There's no nice way to tell someone "You're fat. Lose weight." There's no nice way to tell someone "Feeling sorry for yourself all the time makes you a loser." Etc. What is more valuable than gold, therefore, is someone who doesn't specifically make you feel inferior, but nonetheless explains HOW to go about improving yourself and encourages you to do so.