ON ME, ROMANCE, LOVE, AND FALLING IN LOVE

I tend to fall in love with others rather easily. All kinds of people; women, men, even children. Young and old. Unlike most modern people (it seems to me based upon the way they talk) I tend to like and on occasion even admire other people. Especially if they are actually admirable. Which happens more often than most people think. (As a Christian I have a rather elevated view of most people and of Human Beings generally speaking. Which I partially adopted from Christ but also I am a natural Romantic. Not a naïve view, by any stretch of the imagination, I have certainly seen my share of the rotten and diseased and even evil – yes kiddies evil is very real - underbelly of humanity. But generally speaking I see a lot of potential and even Godliness in most folks. I am not hopeless about them in any way. I am a Romantic when it comes to Love. Even if I am pragmatic, realistic, and honest about them, people I mean, at the same time – including my own view of myself.) Also unlike most other modern people, and maybe this is the result of my age and generation, I probably do not mean “love” or “falling in love” the way many conceive of it. Though I never really have meant it in that way, even as a kid. Certainly I do not mean it in a pedophiliac sense (which I’ve never understood that desire in a man, it is an alien concept to me) and certainly not toherwise in a purely sexual sense. I do not see love (I think of it, much as CS Lewis and the Ancient Greeks did, that there are many kinds of love – and so I have a much more “Ancient View of Love”) as sexualizing every person I meet or come to love, nor do I think it manly at all to want to screw everything and everyone in sight. I don’t think that even vaguely masculine or Manly (which I associate primarily with self-discipline and self-sacrifice) but that this self-absorbed desire tends to create unmanly little pussies of modern men (and women so inclined to this same impulse). Now I am also a very honest man, I make no effort at subterfuge or dissembly (which I also consider highly unmanly – I am very open about what I mean and say precisely what I mean); this does not mean that if I fall in love or come to love a woman or a young woman that I may or may not feel sexual desire towards her. Maybe I will. Maybe even strongly. Sexual desire is very important to me and strongly energizes me and I understand that about myself, but I am also long practiced at channeling my sexual impulse(s) into other things. So the fact that I find another woman sexually desirable does not mean I will commit adultery or have an affair. I never have, and I won’t. There will be zero chance of that. There is much Manly and Upright (and fun and very productive and useful if you do it right) to be said for Loyalty and Marriage and I am a big proponent of both. Feeling sexual desire for a woman, and/or vice versa, and not consummating that desire because more important things are involved than mere desire is very admirable and Manly. And Womanly. I’ll talk more about this subject later, as regards me and the ParaRomance. By the way I have less than zero sexual interest in men or children. Children especially should have a period of peace and play in which they can be “just children, have fun, and dedicate themselves to exploration and to being a child” (I had a ball as a child being this way, and although both attracted to girls and having girls attracted to me never even thought about sex until much older) without any interference from anyone, especially grown men and women attempting to manipulate them for entirely selfish and perverse reasons. But this in no way means I cannot come to love other men, or children, and I can and do. But there will be no sexual attraction involved. With other women (other than my wife) there might or might not be sexual attraction. Which might or might not be mutual. All of that being said as prelude, so you will understand my true and underlying point by contrast, I think modern people could use a huge revamp and Reform of their view of Love. And of, maybe especially of, the modern American and Western view of Love. And of how to love other people. (By the way, when it comes to loving others or falling in love with them race, sex, class, nationality, ethnicity, and age mean nothing or next to nothing to me. Ability and mutual interests do. As does decency and are they fun. I much prefer decent and good and fun people to their opposites.) So then what exactly do I mean by falling in love and loving others? Well, first of all I do not come to love everyone or everybody, at least not in the way I mean. I have a general love for Humanity and for people in general, of course, but for some I feel a special attraction. Adn thus it is not odd for me to fall in love with or come to love them. When I do this may very well be Love or Falling in Love for me. Falling in Love (the process) may lead to Love which often leads to Friendship which often leads to Companionship (long-term or Life-long Friendship.) I have quite a few such Companions, of all ages and from every corner of the world, even if I don’t always or even often get to see them personally (because they are in different parts of the world). Hell I still have Companions from Elementary school. What effect then does “Love” and “Falling in Love" have upon me? Well, it could be several, or many. First of all I often like to spend time in their company. Secondly I often have excellent conversations with such people. Third I exploit (not all forms of exploitation are bad by any means) our common interests. Fourth I tend to have fun with and to joke with them. I try to establish mutual trust with them, and will remain loyal to them until such time as they are consistently disloyal towards me. (Then our love affair is over. I am a very forgiving person, and am easy-going, and understand I will at some point disagree with everyone, and never hold grudges, but I do understand what consistent disloyalty means and implies.) Thereafter I take an interest in their well-being and affairs. I like to compliment them and encourage them, but in an honest and forthright fashion (if they have actually earned it). I am easy with my compliments and encouragement but also very honest in this regard. I do not give false compliments, attempt to flatter people, or blow smoke up their dresses. Rather I seek to emphasize what they are good at, and deemphasize or ignore or encourage them to become better at what they lack or are not yet developed at. (Which I am also brutally honest about.) I like to encourage them at their own best Natures and Ambitions (two very important things to me). I like to encourage them to seek out Truth, and Goodness, and to do Good. And will do things together with them when and if possible. (If they live local to me or I meet them when traveling.) I like to see them Succeed and, if possible, assist in their Success in some way. This is what Love, Friendship, and Companionship means to me. Anyway I have other work to do today including physical labor and working out. I’ll speak more about these ideas later on, such as with posts on the Pararomance, etc. For I would like to see many things about modernity, modern life and society (including aspects of human love) to change for the better. For the much, much, much better… For now I must get back to work. #Love #Romance #Friendship #modernity

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