I feel like I live in this frustrating dichotomy where I function best when I'm alone, but when I'm alone I just get progressively more miserable, but then I have a chance to not be alone and I ruin it or avoid it or come up with excuses. What the hell is my problem, why do I do this? I know I'm hardly the only one. Is it just a symptom of being alone too long and being afraid of commitment? I don't really understand it because all day I dream about spending all of my time with someone and living my life with them but never actually give it a chance.