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I was driving the rig to the jobsite the other dayyyyy. Someone pulls out in front of me. Nothing at all different. More than ample distance. Plenty of time for them to get up to speed. Doesn't even register. But very quickly I notice they are NOT getting up to speed. In fact they are swerving in and out of their lane. Oh shit! So I start pumping the breaks. It's an automatic so no shifting required. Conditions were clear, cold as fuck but clear. Plenty of weight on the truck and trailer. So I slow down from "55 mph" to about 30 mph quickly and safely. Upon rolling up on them I realize they are driving more like 15 mph. Oooh Shiiit! Once again I have to work the breaks. Yah know, to avoid shoving tens of thousands of pounds of steal, rubber, fuel and water up their ass. So here they are still swerving. Still driving 15 mph on a 55 mph highway. Then they really start merging into the other lane. The one with oncoming traffic. And of course there is another semi just cresting the hill and I can only assume shocked to realize there is a car half in their lane and less than 150 ft (50 yards) coming straight at them. SHITFUCKSHITFUCKSHITFUCK! I get on the breaks, four-ways, strobes, and horn at the same damn time. The other semi driver is doing the same. Well apparently the driver of this car had their first intelligent thought of the day. They immediately started to pull their car back into the proper lane and continued onto the shoulder. Thank you God and baby Jesus! As they were pulling their car back across the the road I noticed exactly why the were swerving in the first place. I could see through the car and noticed the only clear spot on their windshield was a small portion, low and center. The rest was fogged over. This dumb fuck was driving down a major highway before letting the defroster clear the fog from the fucking windshield! Keep in mind we've had single to negative degree temps for damn near 3 weeks. So unless you just got off the plane from somewhere there is zero humidity and hot as fuck you might not understand how defrosters work. The rest of the world does and uses them before driving. Not only was the windshield fogged over but they were driving east. In the morning. You know east, the direction of the RISING SUN! Even with a clear windshield you need sunglasses, visor and common sense to drive with the sun directly in your eyes. Which I assumed this person obviously doesn't possess any of these things. Heart rate slowing, blood pressure lowering, Sphincter relaxing, I pass them. Now I must see this person. I must see the sp-ed driving this car. I must see this soul that put their, mine and every other driver on that rd lives in jeopardy. I must. As I passed I see a middle aged blond. Prescription glasses. Round face. Classic Karen haircut. With an "I want to talk to your manager" look in her eyes. Now I say in her eyes and not on her face because her face was obscured by TWO MASKS! The moment I realized she had on two masks while driving a car and no other passengers, all my questions were answered. I couldn't stop laughing for 5 solid min. A total of 15 min if you count the following and sporadic bursts of laughter. Is there some moral to this tale? I'll let you be the judge in the comments. Was it worth your time to read this? I hope so but you can let me know with subs and/or comments. Just be safe out there guys. And thanks for your time.
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