Minneapolis Mayor Issues Guidelines To Keep Rioters Safe From Virus While They’re Burning Down His City [Satire]

The following is satirical. Candiass Pansiface, the mayor of Minneapolis, has issued a series of directives on how looters can keep from catching coronavirus while they’re burning down his city. Mayor Pansiface, whose last job was dancing to Justin Bieber songs on Tik Tok, said that he issued the gu...

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