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SANTEE JUNCTION, MO—At an early voting location this morning, African American citizen Conroy Ferguson turned white after voting Republican. Witnesses also claim he aged about 10 years and become perceivably more stuffy and unpleasant. Upon checking his wallet, Ferguson found his name had also chang...
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HONG KONG—Sensing the possibility of a dangerous contagion spreading, China has issued a stay-at-home order for Hong Kong so that ideas of democracy might not spread.“There is a virus out there,” said Chinese President Xi Jinping. “One that could destabilize all of China. That’s why we are requiring...
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Joe Biden is trying to run for President of the United States of America. The difficulty, however, of campaigning for President is compounded by the fact that he suffers from a severe, untreatable form of memory loss. Although he can still recall all of the women he’s sniffed and ca...
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