U.S.—Democrat governors across the nation have urged states to continue their lockdowns, saying if they end prematurely, their time in the limelight will be over."If we end this crisis too soon, my time in the limelight will be up," said California Governor Gavin Newsom. "I can't let this $500 hair ...
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DALLAS, TX—A Dallas-area bar is enforcing social distancing by forcing all patrons to wear Che Guevara T-shirts.The bar's owner says it's working great so far, with nobody wanting to talk to the guy in the Che Guevara shirt, which is everyone."It's working great," said part-owner Bud Kirkpatrick. "N...
babylonbee.com
Dumb libs at the UN want you to use less gendered language. No, say we! Use extremely gendered language! Turn everything gendered! Whenever we see a word that is not gendered, we scream in rage at the heavens. You can fight back against wokeness and triggered SJWs by turning more language gendered u...
babylonbee.com
BURBANK, CA—In conjunction with Warner Bros. Studios, the Wachowskis have released a new cut of The Matrix where Neo just takes the blue pill.The revised cut will be approximately 30 minutes long, as Neo will take the blue pill and then just go about his pretend life blissfully unaware of humanity's...
babylonbee.com
DALLAS, TX—A Dallas-area bar is enforcing social distancing by forcing all patrons to wear Che Guevara T-shirts.The bar's owner says it's working great so far, with nobody wanting to talk to the guy in the Che Guevara shirt, which is everyone."It's working great," said part-owner Bud Kirkpatrick. "N...
babylonbee.com
Dumb libs at the UN want you to use less gendered language. No, say we! Use extremely gendered language! Turn everything gendered! Whenever we see a word that is not gendered, we scream in rage at the heavens. You can fight back against wokeness and triggered SJWs by turning more language gendered u...
babylonbee.com
BURBANK, CA—In conjunction with Warner Bros. Studios, the Wachowskis have released a new cut of The Matrix where Neo just takes the blue pill.The revised cut will be approximately 30 minutes long, as Neo will take the blue pill and then just go about his pretend life blissfully unaware of humanity's...
babylonbee.com