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NEW YORK, NY—The Bloomberg News Editorial Board has endorsed Mike Bloomberg for president.While other publications are endorsing multiple candidates or communists, Bloomberg Opinion says they've found the right man for the job: Mike Bloomberg."He's a really swell guy," wrote the editorial team. "We ...
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RENO, NV—Bernie Sanders supporters were shocked today when they saw him hobble into a campaign event looking quite battered and covered in one hundred dollar bills. Sanders claims this was the result of an attack by a group of billionaires.Sanders said he was out in the streets of Reno at 2 a.m. to ...
PAWTUCKET, RI—Hasbro has announced a new doll for boys based on the popular boy-faced presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg (BOOT-EDGE-EDGE). Picking up where they left off with the popular "My Buddy" dolls of 1985—a revolutionary doll designed for boys who, up to that point only enjoyed scenes of m...
