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BURLINGTON, VT—Bernie Sanders has been fired from the Bernie Sanders campaign for refusing to work even a few hours a week.The campaign released a statement Monday confirming that Bernie Sanders has been let go."I'm sorry, Bernie, but we're gonna have to let you go," said assistant campaign manager ...
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WASHINGTON, DC—With new staff being added to his flourishing campaign every week, Joe Biden's advisory staff has devised a new guideline for women on the team: wearing backward wigs.Campaign advisor Shelly Turlock explained, "While Joe is known for his 'come up behind you and affectionately smell yo...
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WASHINGTON, D.C.—Standing on the White House lawn with the black and white striped mascot next to him, President Donald Trump made it official: the Hamburglar has been pardoned of his crimes. "It's long past time a great injustice was corrected," Trump told the gathered press. "The only thing the Ha...
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