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Vote For Bloomberg! This Article Was Definitely Not Paid For By Mike Bloomberg (He’s The Best)

We are proud to announce that we are placing all of our support behind Mike Bloomberg for president in the 2020 election. He’s the only candidate that can save our country and look cool while doing it!Sure, he’ll hand out pallets of cash to anyone that so much as looks in his general direction, but ...

babylonbee.com

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Woman Donates Last Dollar To Warren Campaign In Final Bad Financial Decision

PORTSMOUTH, NH—Kymberly Brady, whose bank account was completely empty, realized she only had one dollar left in her wallet when she was at an Elizabeth Warren campaign event. “But I was just so inspired by her words,” said Brady, who often made rash decisions based on emotion. “I really felt like s...

babylonbee.com

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Bloomberg Gives A Billion Dollars To Bernie Sanders Causing Him To Destroy Self

DURHAM, NC—Billionaire Michael Bloomberg came up with a genius plan to destroy Democratic rival Bernie Sanders: give him a billion dollars. Bloomberg waited in a Sanders campaign office ahead of the socialist's next rally and leaped out as soon as Sanders walked in, handing over a briefcase full of ...

babylonbee.com

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