Please Humor Me For A Moment

Ok so I mentioned that I been in a mood
I know have talked about this before,

please humor me for a moment,

Minute by Minute, Hour by Hour, Day by Day,

Life by Life, Death by Death, Dream by Dream

Reality falls apart on me,

only to repeat again and again,

upon waking up.

Down and out,

sitting at the edge of the abyss,
life in the trenches of hyperspace

I've been here before,

You have been here before,

I believe we have all been here before

And where might this place or mood be?
It's the discontent of being disconnected

the fear and loathing at the collapse of the narrative

we structure this context of the human condition
we make up a story of society
we paint these masks of humanity

all the while there is

a deep metaphor deficit

that can never be paid

we have written a check of false reality
cashed a paid day loan of perception

a lesser version of the dream

a lesser version of beauty

a lesser version of actuality

you see the thing itself
is beyond our silly words

is beyond our silly minds
is within the depths of our being

the direct experience of everything

the felt experience of the everywhen

you see,
it's not the dream that is real
it's the dreaming

and we float about life,

trying to grasp onto

the liquid possibilities

the water of reality

always seeping thru
our perception

most of us give into

the dis-ease

but some us struggle

with IT

and few

dance with IT

there is nothing

to be won

or to fight

or to worry about

or to give into

It's only to be experienced

and yes I know this is

a lot of nutty raving

but sometimes it

needs to be said

soon this late night

I am saying it

to you and most importantly

to myself

you see this too

even tho its true enough

it's still nonsense

as it beyond senses

or maybe a better

turn of phrase
deep sense

it's in the pit of our being
actually, it's what ties all being

to every other being and nothingness

and everything else in between

you see my love

I think too much

and feel deeply everything

and at times like these

it’s too much for one soul to bare

I like to tell myself

that everything is alright forever

and ever, which it is

but I know this too

is just something to tell the self

a self that is just another thing

itself like all things

ready to seep thru

my fingertips,
dissolve into nothingness

as I sharpen my pen

wrestling with my thoughts

poking holes in reality

peeling back perception

waiting for the muse

ready to dance

once again
with the Logos

Babe, I don't care

in the deepest and

the truest sense

of that strange word

and now back to reality

it always comes on

at the peak of the rush

when am in IT

there is this clarity

and everything

I mean everything

is within my grasp

and I dubstep

my way thru

the Dreamtime

but just before
the bass is

about 'drop

I always get this numb feeling

and at times I try to

drown it out

or drink it up

as if Dionysus

really knows anything

and I get lost in the mist

playing around in the

haze of fake bliss

trying to outrun reality

only to bang my
head against it

and then am left

with nothing

but my silly self
and society,

the game of life

it's so empty

and cold

I can hardly stand it

but I lay in bed

soaking in the pain and discomfort

Every last drop

Of sublime Mellon Collie

and the eternal emptiness

there is a certain beauty

in the hangover of existence

In the existential anguish of reality

The What I Have Become! of infinity

that I have learned to really experience it

in its whole array of senses

and paint reality with my dreams

I can never really ever say

what it is that I really want to say

and you know this

you feel this

how can you not?

its ok you don't have to say

anything

I have said enough for

the both of us

I don't need to hear

deep reality from you

I just need to hear

that you're there

that you will hold my hand

as we sit at the abyss

that you will watch me

as I dance my moon dance

I will be the one the brings up the sun

and you will be the one the pulls

down the moon

don't worry my love

I will teach you the dance of the dead

and how to sing the songs of eternity

To the heartbeat of the universe

Its ok if you don't remember

because I will always remember

I am the gatekeeper

the groundskeeper of the Dreamtime

and I've seen you before

I have felt you before

quite literally we

have played cosmic games

within our dreams

with each other

this my eternal friend

is no small feat

Or incidental fact
it's something more
real than real

but perhaps I have said too much

I wish you much love

and I hope when

this hits your eyes

that you can have

the felt experience of I

once again...