Running Away from Porn Urges Won't Work - Here's What to Do Instead

When you feel an uncontrollable desire to open an adult page, you have already crossed the line.

You can run, but the desire is sooner or later going to take over, and you will make a compromise by falling for the temptation to engage in lust. Temptations to sexual sin are faster, stronger, and smarter than you. Running away from them is the right thing to do, but you're fighting a losing battle.

Here's how to fight them effectively.

Why Running Away From Lust Fails You?

I've not always been as tidy as I am right now.

I didn't have a good system for taking care of my house. One of those days I unexpectedly had to welcome a guest. Before he came I decided to quickly tidy things up so my living room doesn't look as bad. I put away all the dishes, washed the things and on the surface, it seemed very good.

After washing my hands and returning to the room again I noticed that the dust on the surfaces was very visible. I wiped the dust. I came back to the room one more time I noticed that the floor desperately needed mopping.

Every time I returned to the living room I noticed a different "worst thing" no matter how well I cleaned.

The same is true when trying to make yourself better.

When you try to change yourself you focus on the problem. What we focus on grows. Once you solve one problem, another issue stands out as the worst. It makes it seem like problems never disappear but become more noticeable.

Problems become bigger as we focus on them.

When you desire to watch pornography, you tell yourself, "I should not do this." When the desire appears again, you tell it again, "No, I shouldn't do this!" The interaction repeats itself until you make a compromise. You start feeling, "Yeah, maybe it's fine this time..." and you fall for it.

Why does that happen?

Because your focus is on the thing that you're avoiding.

Running away from the desire to look at images is inefficient because it strengthens your focus on the thing you're running away from. It's like running from a monster in your dream. Nothing else matters. You are so focused on it to know:

How far is it?

Are you away from it?

Are you still in danger?

Everything you do becomes focused on the threat you're running away from. Avoiding lust is ineffective because it only increases your focus on it. The problem becomes more noticeable.

What Are You Running Towards?

Running away increases your focus on the problem because you spend more time thinking about it.

The solution to this is to decide what to run towards.

When you try to avoid pornography, you are running away from pornography. The focus is on running away, on avoiding it. The better way to deal with this is to run towards something that you desire.

Maybe you desire to be a good husband.

Maybe you crave to strengthen your relationship with God.

Maybe you want to have good discipline in your life and be more godly.

Whatever it is, you become good at the thing you focus on.

Look what Paul said about his focus:

No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, [14] I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. (Philippians 3:13-14, NLT)

Paul's life before he met Jesus was very concerning from a Christian point of view. He was denying Christ and purposefully fighting against the Church. He was ready to kill to destroy the movement of Christianity.

After he received Jesus, his eyes opened up to the truth - Paul became the evangelist for the Gospel, instead of fighting against it.

Paul didn't focus on how wrong he got things before. He decided to leave those things behind and focus on Christ. He wasn't going to every believer and apologizing. He wasn't going and feeling bad about it. He wasn't wallowing in his guilt, shame and condemnation for how bad a person he was before he met Jesus.

He realized the wrong and set a new goal - to follow Jesus and make Him known.

So, what are you running toward?

When you run away, when you run toward something, you will have a different type of motivation. You will have an excuse to not focus on what you are avoiding. At the same time making the problem smaller.

Focusing on a goal will help you run away from lust, achieve the goal and avoid all the unnecessary struggles.

When the Urge Comes, Do This

When you feel a strong desire to watch pornography, instead of saying to yourself, "I shouldn't do this," find what you want to do.

For example, you want to seek God. Instead of running away from temptation, set a 5-minute timer and sit with Jesus in prayer. Focus on Jesus, no matter what your mind says about the temptation to watch pornography.

Running toward a goal will create new desires and set you up for success in your fight against lust.

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