JEFF BEZOS, THE FORMIDABLE FOE

I always make it chore of mine to frequently watch videos or read articles of liberal media just to see the nonsense that they are spewing for the week. And all during the pandemic, one particular subject has just been making my blood boil. Progressives severing Jeff Bezos’ head and serving it on a silver platter.

Jeff Bezos has had a huge target on his back during this whole pandemic because of anecdotal unsafe work conditions in the pits of Amazon’s dirty warehouses, which sparked strikes across the country. which subsequently led to the liberal media reopening the dialogue of how evil Jeff Bezos is because his company didn’t pay any taxes this year, and he is on his way to being the world’s first trillionaire.

I’m sorry liberals, but you can’t possibly have this gruesome opinion that encourages people to call the cops on your neighbors if they are spotted leaving their house, and also blame Amazon, a company that is the perfect solution to help everyone during this unprecedented time. Where you can virtually buy everything you need and have it delivered to your front porch.

And first of all, Amazon has paid a little over three billion in taxes the past three years. And who gives a shit about what this man does with his own damn money. It’s always uncanny to try and wrap my brain around why liberals hate rich people so much, and I’m pretty much convinced that it all boils down to jealousy.

Purple haired feminist are ugly and fat, so they get mad at inanimate objects like bathroom scales to deflect the fact that their blood type is velveeta. The same logic applies to beta males and their sinking abyss of college debt. They deflect the blame on the richest man in the world. How dare Jeff Bezos not glance down for one second while he’s soaking up the sun on his big yacht and just pay for some random spoiled brat’s college debt. HOW DARE HE

I’m sure you have all heard leftist eagerly swat the idea that trickle down economics has never worked and it never will because the rich are still buying yachts. Trickle down economics has so many deep intricate facets that most people miss the subtle examples. Let’s begin with Amazon:

Amazon is the most revolutionary innovative thing to ever happen to the world of shopping. Instead of going to the store and having the daunting task of blindly buying a product or simply trusting a name brand, Amazon’s rating system greatly minimizes the chances of you ever having to buy a shit product. Which will save people a lot of money. I can prevent the hassle of buying multiple items until I find the right one, or just simply narrow my search results to the absolute cheapest but highest rated thing that I want because I’m a stingy bastard.

If you’re pompous enough to spread the nasty rhetoric that Jeff Bezos doesn’t pay his fair share, while simultaneously having multiple tabs open trying to narrow down which butt plug you’re gonna end up buying on Amazon then you are a contradicting moron. Rich people without a doubt pay their fair share.

If Steve Jobs weren’t a filthy rich bastard, most likely he wouldn’t have had the resources to make the first smartphone, and without free enterprise, none of us would be walking around with the incredible power of the internet in our pockets.

Despite what you hear, the Walton brother’s aren’t these sinister reptilian fiends hogging up all the cash. Walmart is unarguably the cheapest spot to buy all your groceries, thus creating this incredible effect which is called more money in your pocket after you’ve bought your groceries for the week.

Have you ever seen the TV show Shark Tank? The people with brilliant ideas have to come forth and kiss the feet of rich people to fund their ideas. It’s not just for television, it happens everyday. It’s the sole reason why that new company that just made your life easier was even born in the first place.

This is how evil rich people help the lower class. The fact that they stay rich is in itself paying their fair share. It is why you have a job, it is why your groceries are cheap, it is why technology advances at the fast rate that it does. And that’s trickle down economics and it’s pretty damn full proof. It’s not my fault you’re too stupid to get it.