The Narcissism Gap: When Every Woman’s a 10 and Every Man’s Undesirable

Social media is flooded with videos of women confidently declaring themselves—and their entire friend groups—as "10s." The trend is often paired with commentary on how virtually all the men around them are unattractive, boring, or not worth their time. This cultural display reveals more than vanity—it reflects a growing divide in how women and men are evaluated in the modern social order.

Platforms like TikTok and Instagram reward self-promotion, and nowhere is that clearer than in the feedback loops reinforcing women's inflated self-ratings. Filters, likes, and curated aesthetics contribute to a culture where criticism is off-limits and self-worship is normalized. In this system, modesty and realism are liabilities, not virtues.

By contrast, men are openly mocked or dismissed for their physical appearance. Countless videos showcase women swiping left on average-looking men, demanding hyper-specific features—height, jawline, style, income—while expecting unconditional acceptance for themselves. Mocking “short kings,” balding men, or guys who don’t dress in designer clothes has become culturally acceptable, even encouraged.

The double standard is glaring. While women are taught that all bodies are beautiful, men are taught that they must be exceptional to be seen as worthy. Women expect high income, perfect grooming, and social dominance, while simultaneously rejecting any critical assessment of their own presentation. Female empowerment is framed as limitless self-validation, while men are left to chase an ever-shifting and increasingly unattainable bar.

What does it say about our culture when women routinely rate themselves and their friends as "10s," while dismissing the majority of men as unattractive or unworthy? Is this not a form of collective delusion—one that inflates female self-perception while systematically devaluing the average man?

At what point do these beauty expectations become completely detached from reality?

Can beauty standards still be meaningful if there’s no room for average or below-average? If everyone is a “10” by default, what does a “10” even mean anymore? And if nearly every man is now considered “below standard,” are we defining beauty in a way that leaves no room for actual humanity?

This dynamic is not accidental—it’s the result of feminist ideology embedded deeply into modern institutions. Feminism’s original claims of equality have morphed into a culture of female exceptionalism, where male contributions are minimized and female choices are celebrated uncritically.

In the court system, men are presumed guilty or disposable in family and custody disputes. In education, traditional male behavior is pathologized while feminine traits are elevated. In corporate America, DEI initiatives often favor women by design while sidelining merit or fairness.

Perhaps most telling is how modern culture celebrates even the most controversial behaviors under the banner of empowerment. Multiple abortions, which involve the taking of life in the womb, are reframed as brave and liberating decisions. Meanwhile, male struggles with identity, loss, and sacrifice are ignored or ridiculed. There’s no social grace for men who suffer—only expectations that they continue producing, providing, and enduring.

We’re creating a culture where affirmation has replaced truth, and where only one side is allowed to be seen as valuable. When every woman is a “10” and every man is beneath consideration, what kind of relationships, families, or futures can we expect to build?

Is this a society based on reality—or one based on delusion, entitlement, and institutionalized double standards? Until we’re willing to reintroduce humility, honesty, and reciprocity into the conversation, the gap will only grow wider.