A Note on International Men’s Day

The Bad

There’s so much one could talk about International Men’s Day. As a gender, men are simply less regarded and less considered in today’s culture than really at any other time in history.

Men have never received a lot of empathy or sympathy. So when it comes to the current suicide crisis amongst boys, the education crisis amongst school-age boys, the failures of younger men statistically in higher education and career attainment, we can almost not be surprised. Likewise with the figures on homelessness, workplace deaths; and I don’t mean to diminish these issues by simply stating that men get less care.

This is without even going into the issues surrounding paternity and marriage rights. Or criminal sentencing disparities, that are usually only associated with race, but are actually primarily gender based. 

People might be surprised to learn accurate figures on domestic abuse victimhood amongst men, and sexual assault victimhood. The current culture teaches that women are almost exclusively victims, and men almost exclusively offender. Not so, men are somewhere between 1/3 to 1/2 of all domestic violence victims. “Forced to penetrate”, whilst not considered legally rape, is estimated to be very high amongst men. Under the age of 10, boys are the primary victims of childhood sexual assault and rape. Including prison rape, even by standard definitions of rape, men are the primary victims. 

And this is not an oppression Olympics. I'm not trying to say women don't have issues. Or any other group. Or to posture men as 'oppressed'. It's only to say men and boys have unique issues society has not become aware of. If we were as enlighted as we pretend to be, these things would be common knowledge.

And I state these things because a lack of empathy and concern, and a focus upon women, is fuelling the education crisis, and particularly the suicide epidemic and the current high level of male homelessness. This isn’t something, as many feminists would put it, solved by men talking more, but rather by those very hypocrites who actually don’t care, caring more. 

Men will perhaps never get the empathy that women do partly for reasons I will elaborate on later. But they can certainly get more, simply by shifting some of the focus directly primarily at women. 

The Good

But I don’t want to draw attention only to the negativity currently facing men, in a feminist world. I’d like also to talk about the often neglected positives. In generations past, men have often thrown themselves on the altar of progress and civilisation, protecting their families, nations, and children’s futures. And they’ve done so without complaint because they were appreciated.

There’s science on the behavioural effects of testosterone, in particular, showing it enhances: honesty in bargaining, protectiveness of women and children, reduces anxiety, lowers risk perception, and alleviates depression. 

Fundamentally that makes the experience of being a man, different. One which women often find hard to understand. We do not, generally need to cry as much. We deal with danger, often with a sort of cool calm until the crisis is averted. This stoicism, this self-sacrificial quality is both something to moderate and an incredible boon to civilisation.

We should not sacrifice ourselves for undeserving strangers. Throw ourselves helplessly on an altar for which no appreciation is felt. That is a waste, and a bad take away. Society is not full of solely good actors. Men's purpose should not simple be our utility to others. We should strive for our own betterment, and benefit society and those worthy around us via our attainment. 

Men’s inclination to sacrifice can make them unappreciated too. If you're giving something away for free, it has no value. By directing those self-sacrificial instincts to those who will, for certain value you in return, you help create value for yourself, and for men in general. 

 All that said, however; roads are built, electricity, mechanics, science advanced, nations protected, families fed primarily by the hands of men. Most physicists, soldiers, police, firemen, construction workers, engineers, mathematicians and more are men.

 If men were subtracted from the world tomorrow, assuming humans could still procreate somehow, women would have to suddenly take responsibility for a vast swathe of activities they have had, and still choose not to, have any significant role in. 

And not diminish the primary historical role of women, in raising social cohesion, centering families, and contributing to human-based sciences like medicine, psychology, biology (historically herbalism which was the early foundation of medicine); but honestly, without either men or women, society would collapse. Nor am I saying individuals should take responsibility for their demographics achievements. But this is aspirational, and we need to acknowledge the vital role men play. Men and women both hold up the sky. 

So on this day, I say, forget horrid notions of masculinity being toxic. Recognize it’s made positive qualities, even if the world around you does not. Promote and state these qualities without fear. Build character, strength and develop yourself. Appreciate what people do for you, man or woman. As a man, don’t worship women either. Any older man will tell you, that some younger women can use up men, and spit them out. Respect yourself, and others will learn to respect you. 

And older men especially, help the younger men out. Society isn’t providing much guidance. The media isn't. Institutions are turned against men and boys. Younger boys lack teachers, in the literal and general sense. Men are pushed out of fatherhood too. The young need us more than ever in this age.  

Men are characterized by positive qualities that society cannot, ever, do without. And if society refuses to respect men, or women, for their role in it, it will do so at its peril. 

In this, it is both our responsibility as individual men, and for our peers, to raise up men's self-identity. And it is also our societies responsibility to do so. Hail, the sacred masculine.