I suggest that there is a real solution -- no matter what complicated solution you have been promoting. Here goes. The reality is that this same solution has been used to address race issues in the South.
Think about the civil rights movement. In the South, blacks were treated different from whites. That included separate schools, separate bathrooms and even separate water coolers. The solution was to declare that race was not something you could use to determine how someone was to be treated.
Today, most people say there are two genders. Most say that gender is determined at birth. But, not everyone. Some say there are more than two genders and some say that a person can pick their gender -- whenever they want.
In a recent court case in Oregon a student born with "female equipment" said she (he?) identified as the male gender sued for the right to use the men's locker room. The court agreed.
And here we have the solution. Just like blacks and whites not being "separate", there is no reason to discriminate based on gender. In other words, eliminate gender from being a characteristic used to discriminate.
I assert this solves all the issues. For example, some governments want to use gender discrimination to determine who you can marry. Eliminate gender from a consideration and the problem goes away. Salaries, cost of health care, ... seem to have gender built-in as a way to discriminate. Maybe yes, maybe no but eliminate gender from a way to discriminate ahd the problem goes away.
Am I missing anything? Doesn't this just fix everything?