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Why I’m here on Minds - but also in life

ConnieakinsMar 7, 2020, 12:25:54 AM

(Part one of two parts)

I am passionate about brokenness.

And I am passionate about brilliance.

These seemingly unrelated dynamics often intersect with startling results, sometimes beautiful, sometimes tragic. I have lived the reality of both in my own life.

Relationships taught me early on that there was no love, value or safety for me in this world. I was surrounded by BIG people, my parents and much older siblings, who did not see me. They did not see my heart, my personality or my potential. They did not see my tender spirit, my creativity, or passion for people. I was just another loser in the war of the strong against the weak.

I'm the littlest girl. 

Some people say everyone is broken to some degree. While I agree with that in theory, I disagree with it in a practical sense. Many of us really don't see that we have any brokenness at all. It seems few can honestly admit their brokenness and fewer still are willing to work on it.

On the other hand, there is a belief that brilliance is limited to the gifted few. This, I categorically disagree with. The seeds of brilliance reside in every one of us. Often, opportunity, encouragement and time is all it takes for these seeds to burst into life.

One day a few years ago, one of my sisters told me that I was the most talented person she had ever known. This sister knows a lot of people. And she isn't one to give false praise. So, just what in the world was she talking about?!? Because, I knew she knew a lot more talented people than me. She was way more talented than me! In fact, I didn't even really consider myself talented. Okay, I had written a book, composed and recorded original piano music, had started a couple of businesses, was an award-winning speaker, created a powerful journaling system to facilitate healing of deep wounds. But none of that really counted, not to me it didn't.

What I believed about myself was completely controlled by my brokenness. And it was pretty negative stuff. I desperately wanted love and hope in my life. I constantly tried everything to get it. No matter how much time and effort I gave it, it never worked. I never felt like, okay, there it is! Now, finally, I feel good about myself.

Brokenness and brilliance are an odd yin and yang that can create incredible beauty, but more often work at odds, resulting in more brokenness.

Both of these great forces need attention, understanding and care.

Brokenness can be healed; a lost life can be renewed and reconstructed. Love, hope, joy, - not to mention functionality - can be restored.

I consistently used that journaling system I mentioned above. (I developed it for myself and later began sharing with others.) I experienced many moments of healing and began to see my life transform. Buried pain surfaced and was healed. This paved the way for those terrible lies I believed about myself to be unmasked and eradicated. A door, long sealed shut, opened and creation poured out of it.

Brilliance can be discovered and developed. Amazing talents and gifts can emerge that will create, heal, change, and evolve the human condition.

Unfortunately, what I see, in myself and others, is that our brilliance is crushed by our brokenness, buried under layers and layers of shame, fear, hiding and denial. Brokenness does block our brilliance.

But it doesn't have to be that way. Brokeness can also shape and enhance our brilliance! It can open new doors of thought and application. It can direct our life in unimaginable ways. 

But why should you listen to anything I have to say about this?

To be honest with you, I am the perfect person to listen to about brokenness and brilliance. Here's why:

- I have lived in extreme brokenness for most of my life.

- And I have fully embraced my own brilliance, believing in it, loving it and letting it shine. (Well, most of the time!)

- I have read, studied, researched, attended graduate school, and continue to learn everything I can on brokenness.

- I am a certified life coach whose specialty is helping others discover and develop their brilliance. In fact, I wrote a book on it. 

- I have found answers! Real answers! Life-changing answers.

- I have a deep passion, born of a caring heart, to walk with people on their journey of healing the brokenness and celebrating the brilliance

- And finally, I am still on this journey myself. I am still healing. I am still discovering.

Maybe you are one of those lucky people who usually feel good about themselves and life. You've had a lot of success and not too many failures. You're probably not going to find too much that resonates with you in my blog.

On the other hand, if you have struggled, suffered and failed more times than you can think about. If you need and want to receive as well as give support to others like you. And, if you want help, real help to grow, process, resolve, and transform, I think you'll really like my blog.

Now on to Part Two