Guys, follow these handy tips and you will be beating the bitches off with a broomstick instead of beating yourself off in the broom closet.
9 - Buy her food... bitches love da food.
8 - NEVER call her by her sister's name during the sex.
7 - Don't ask her to wear your mom's perfume.
6 - Borrow a Netflix password from one of your buddies... bitches don't like over-the-air local TV.
5 - NEVER tell her that you've rubbed one out thinking of her mom.
4 - If you can't afford proper bed sheets, at least spray a little Febreze on your bare mattress on the floor before she comes over. Bitches love the smell of Febreze and mattress sweat stank.
3 - Don't let her catch you selling her dirty underwear online.
2 - Volunteer when she needs help applying her hemorrhoidal ointment -- DON'T wait for her to ask you.
1 - ALWAYS compliment her butthole.
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Tips are appreciated but never mandatory. If you can afford a token or two, great.
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Of course, following my channel, liking, or reminding this post is more than enough too.
Okay, carry on, people.