12 Most Common Causes of Death for Santa's Elves

With Christmas upon us, as we scurry around picking up last minute gifts, what better time to ponder the leading causes of death for Santa's elves.

It makes for excellent conversation with visiting friends and family.

Without further delay... the 12 most common causes of death for Santa's elves:

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12- Mauled by polar bears when they go outside to take a leak

11- Gored by reindeer

10- Smallpox

9 - Venereal diseases transmitted by Mrs. Claus

8 - Hunted for sport by Santa during the summer months

7- Stabbed with a pool cue after a drunken scuffle at the local pool hall

6- Head trauma after being bashed in the head by Santa's union busting goons

5- Alcohol poisoning

4- Auto-erotic asphyxiation mishaps

3- Shot trying to escape

2- Masturbatory accidents

1- Choke to death on a Cheeto

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