Fatherly Advice

Writing from the perspective of someone who has been denied the opportunity to become a father by uncaring fate, I have some things I feel the need to get off of my chest about Father's Day. Being a person who treats all motherly people well on Mother's Day, I find it a sort of "in your face" kind of moment when fatherly types do not get the same recognition on Father's Day.

It begins with commercials, and you'll see a definitive favoritism and sexism in the difference between commercials advertising for the holidays celebrating mothers and fathers. Mothers are shown to be expecting jewelry and perfumes, etc while fathers are usually advertised to be expecting power tools and ties. There's a big difference in the cost of these items, let me tell you. Some jewelry I saw on sale for Mother's day this last go round was $3,000-$4,000. While power tools can cost hundreds of dollars, they don't quite match up in price to the jewelry, and that shit was on sale. Perfumes can cost a pretty penny as well, and ties are inexpensive and, if I may say so, quite the "I barely care enough to get you this" kind of gift.

So why the disparity between how we treat mothers and fathers? It's sexism, plain and simple. Women are much more privileged than Feminists would have you believe. They've been actively campaigning to get events like International Men's Day and Father's Day cancelled.

Another thing that cranks my gears is that men who are fatherly do not get the same kind of thanks that motherly women get. My Aunt gets cards and gifts Mother's Day, but I, an uncle, don't even get a lousy card. My wife understands what the day means to me and gives me one, but the rest of the family basically ignores the hard work and commitment to treating my niece and nephew like my own children. Not that I'm about to be immature and stop treating them that way just because of how I am treated.

I think it just galls me because I was given the chance to be a father but it was taken away from me. My wife suffered a miscarriage and the one and only time our gametes combined successfully was terminated with her crying in our shower. She has had an ablation because of medical conditions, so there is officially no possibility of me becoming a father without resorting to adoption. With my present living accommodations, an adoption seems highly unlikely.

In the end, I just want to raise awareness for others like myself. Uncles, Brothers, Cousins, friends who will treat your children like their own and take great care of them. They don't have to do anything. They don't have to be involved, but they are. And the men who stick around and are worth a damn deserve their proper credit, especially since some biological fathers don't stick around, don't treat their children well, or even abuse them.