A Garbage Man Quickie: Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain
This is the free game for xbox gold members, and, being amongst those most esteemed ranks, I downloaded my copy for May.
I spent about the first hour of the game learning how to see and move. It takes a while for this sucker to get going, what did I think Kojima was going to go easy on me? Fuck no, he spent the better part of a decade arguing with Konami about the release date. He ain’t going to let me in without showing that he is the king of cinematic video games.
I enjoyed it, honestly. You slowly awaken as a tore-up snake in a hospital. It has a nice flow, even with the weirdos flying around and a man made of fire that is deathly afraid of sprinklers. Best part is the character creation, made me GOL, Groan out loud, but then you still stay as snake. Gave me a chuckle, good on ya, Kojima.
I died on the zero mission, a record I’m sure. I fell off the edge of the second floor, looking for the god-damn sprinklers to shoot over fire guy. Instead he killed me and I barely put up a fight. Also, all the guys I personally killed were re-killed by the fire guy. That’s how powerful he is.
After mission 0’s risky hospital escape, we are thrown into Afghanistan, like a U.S. teenager in 2005. We get a horse, learn how to take out Russians, and then meet a group of ghoulies, all while rescuing our friend TJ Miller.
Don’t forget to buy their branded sunglasses!
When we get back to another oil platform, just like in MGS: Ground Zero, revolver ocelot teaches us how to trancshot and kick the shit out of our own men, capture them like balloon boy, then assign them to various tasks, like building cardboard boxes!
Afterwards, it seems the “real” game begins in mission 3, where we shed our snakeskin and get into some real shit. I died 3 times before I completed my mission. It was great taking out Ruskies and airlifting them to my base, where they would work for me or spend their time in the brig, thinking about their choices. Overall, the stealth action was hot, the open world felt expansive, but not overwhelming, and the classic MGS feel was thick through and through.
So, after about 4 hours of playing, would I continue?
Fuck yeah, I would.
This seems to be the type of game I could easily dump about 30 hours into and still have more to do. I like the idea of base building, it gives a progression element to this entry, while giving you a goal of being the biggest, most bad-ass mercenary force of the 80’s. That is until another snake begins his tale and brings you down.
This was a Garbage Man Quickie. You didn’t have to listen, but I think you just did.
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