Today's Jokes!

Ageing....

Woman to new date: I am approaching the age of 30.


Date: From which direction?

Dangerous foods

A doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful.



Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it.



Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"

After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand hesitantly, and softly said, "Wedding Cake."

Problems

Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of causing trouble in the flat where they lived.

The judge, with Solomon-like wisdom, called for orderly testimony.



"I'll hear the oldest first," he decreed.

T

he case collapsed for lack of evidence.

Right Age?

After a serious operation a lady was still in a coma. Her worried partner stood at the foot of her bed.



"Well," said the nurse reassuringly, "at least age is on her side."



"She's not so young," he said. "She's 45."



At this point the patient moved slightly, and said quietly but firmly, "44".