Toxic Femininity

Toxic masculinity is a phrase we've become all too familiar with, it is used as an explanation of all societies ills, a tool of the patriarchy and what generally happens when men are left to their own devices. So simply masculinity. These days anything male is bad and toxic, in fact you're wrong just for existing as a man. Male only spaces are definitely a no, no, and all men should be punished for wrong think - which is often even contemplating a woman as a sexual being - the most natural thing in the world; provided you're straight of course.

Conveniently forgotten is the fact that modern civilization was built by men and is still run in large part by men, who knuckle down and do what needs to be done, often missing out on a balance between work and life and missing out on family life, usually without much complaint - save for the odd bout of man flu ;-). This building of civilization by men is of course the work of the patriarchy, which intentionally kept women in the home, and women could do just as good a job if given the same opportunity.

Well, ladies you have indeed been given that opportunity. Girls are doing consistently better at school than boys, more women are going to university and graduating than men, and there are 'positive' discrimination measures all over the place in the desirable fields such as STEM where women are under represented. The men can keep the dirty and really hard jobs to themselves, though. Have we been ushering in a new golden era for humanity, as promised by the feminists who have claimed women can have all and do a better job than men? In a word, no. Far from it, if anything we're going backwards at a rapid pace, society becoming fractured and toxic from toxic femininity.

I have spent much of my life in male dominated spaces and I have been far happier there, than I have ever been in female dominated spaces. I have even been on a couple of entertaining lads nights out, where I was generally treated as one of the lads, or as much as was possible anyway. Was I ever bullied or degraded in these male spaces? Was I ever betrayed or stabbed in the back? Held back and bullied because I was smarter in a subject or better at something? Never. Never once was I worried about getting raped either. The worse behaviour I was exposed to was the general mickey taking and banter that groups of guys get up to and the general proving of your worth. I may not have been physically strong enough to match the men of my friend's groups or course mates, but I was useful in other ways (and I don't mean sexually in case anyone's mind goes there - in fact flirting did not generally go on at all). 

All of those horrible behaviours, previously mentioned, I have experienced at the hands of women. Women are generally devious and manipulative and excel at double speak, disagreements are held against you long after they would have been resolved if you were dealing with a man. On the whole female spaces quickly turn toxic, if you don't follow the fashion code, or gossip code - who's in and who's out is always changing, and don't you dare think for yourself - stick to the party line at all times. I have over the years managed to find a few female friends like me, that are more straight forward and say what they mean, who don't mind arguing facts instead of feelings, rare though, I can count them on one hand.

I don't think toxic masculinity exists, at least among Western men. Men should keep their male only spaces, I for one respect that, they deserve to be safe from the machinations of women. Though if I'm honest I'm very grateful and glad when I'm allowed in one, even if it is just temporarily. I feel more at home there than I do in any all female equivalent, or even female majority equivalent.