Lessons Learned: ~ Healing the Inner Child ~

"In a series titled: Lessons Learned~ "A family legacy scrapbook, I share insights and bits of advice I have left to my daughters." ~MariPia

Healing the Inner Child~

Getting over your fears can be a difficult learning experience, especially when you realize that you could be the one getting in the way of your own best interest and so what rings true for the most of us is “you are your own worst enemy.”

Being aware that you require a time for daily reflection of your own habits and concerns, takes a great deal of self-discipline, but most of us become over critical of our every thought and we begin to question...Why did we say those hurtful words? Why did we take so long and procrastinate on that project? Why do we listen to others when we should have known better? This anti-self talk and response fill our mind with critical self-analysis and self-sabotaging thoughts. This is counterproductive to achieving a more disciplined mind that will lead us to our true goals and a sense of freedom.

Self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors are perpetuated by an inner critic we all possess and enable, and some of us lose interest from the inner cruel anti-self and continue perpetuating distance from inner healing and spiritual growth. Expand and cultivate your inner power by learning to select your thoughts just the same way you select any other daily choice presented to you. If you want to control things in your life to work in your favor, work on the mind, that’s the only thing you actually have control over.

Manage your thoughts and actions by noticing how much time you spend doing mediocre tasks while having important deadlines to meet or observe if you are the type, that is constantly behind on paying your bills because you stagnate and forget? Tackle each one of these thoughts and reactions independently, do not try to "fix the world" in one sitting, it's just not possible and unrealistic to lump them or group them into one. Instead, opt to find the root of the issue, where did you learn this behavior and how did it get out of control?

Some if not most of us at some point in our young life saw our parents grapple with paying a bill or two; in the impressionable mind, the psyche will hold on to that thought and imprint the meaning of family struggle with never having enough. For most, this type of onset becomes a learned behavior and has the potential of becoming a pattern of constantly behind in finances. Becoming aware of where your financial patterns stem from is the beginning of breaking away from bad habits and self-sabotage. This discontent will transform into empowerment when we realize and become aware of our own bullshit. For instance, if our parent felt critical of their appearance, we may take on similar insecurities without realizing it. We may feel easily self-conscious and less sure of ourselves in social or public situations, but realizing that these are not our own insecurities, but rather a learned behavior from our parents, guardians, or caretakers, we can then begin the healing process.

There is a young suffering inner child that resides in the stillness of our being, silently suffering and waiting for healing to occur. The constant yearning of wanting to hear someone say I am sorry leaves the inner child resentfully deserving and waiting for an apology. This then becomes our first course of action. In these online times, we tend to hear more of the difficulty children are enduring and many of us have experienced trauma. The inner care of that child then becomes our first thought.

Every time we’re in touch with the experience of suffering, we believe we can’t deal with it and so we suffocate and stifle our feelings and memories deep down in our unconscious mind. It may be that we haven’t dared to face this child for many decades, the disconnection may have been lost as the wounded child further retreated into self and became ignored. The wounded child is always there, trying to get our attention. It creates these small roadblocks in our character, like chronic late payments, showing up late for work, having a low body image due to cultural beliefs. We want to end our suffering by sending the child as far away as possible into the bowels of the unforgiving. However, this only prolongs and defeats the purpose, and herein is where fear becomes cultivated and roots in respite. We try to keep ourselves constantly entertained by watching television or movies, socializing, or using alcohol or drugs, why? because we don’t want to experience that suffering all over again. Instead of dealing with the issue head-on, try to identify specific actions that trigger you or habits that you have clearly adapted. It will be an uncomfortable process, but try to be patient as you address each symptom. Start a journal and make those connections.

Listen and be compassionate as you observe yourself in the role of a loving parent to their own small child. Allow higher-self to step into the role of  parent and embrace the hurting child, the one that was promised and instead witnessed failed realizations or lost interest from lack of finances, the one that believed until that one day, didn't arrive.  Look within by acknowledging the hurt and reaffirm that you are here now and will do what is in their best interest, you are finally grown up and in control.  Explain how you went away, but now you are back.  Say, "I am going to take good care of you, you won't be alone anymore.” Repeat, “I am here for you. I know you suffered. I have neglected you, I have been so busy and now I have learned a way to come back to you through meditation." This process will become most uncomfortable for some, as we dismantle barriers, but the purpose is to dig deep inside and help the wounded child by bearing the tears it has resigned to suppress. Learn to transmute each feeling with the technique described below, and repeat as necessary.

These moments of inner reflection should be incorporated daily as part of a meditation routine. If you have read my previous blogs, the concept of transmuting enables letting go of these destructive influences that have misshaped our understanding. Transmuting is a meditation technique for identifying the root cause, bringing it forth as a thought form from the inner child's perspective and repeat to yourself "I clear and transmute these negative blocks [you can name them if you wish] through all time, dimension, space, and reality." Continue reaching to new levels of understanding and bring the most pressing to the front, in the hope that the things we consider the most negative shape our lives for the better.

Simply take this process one step at a time, repeat as often as necessary until you can speak of your pain without shame, anguish, remorse, penitence or reproach.  Begin to live in what matters, now.  Do not obsess let your soul listen to your subconscious allowing it to speak without your judgment, this is the time to cultivate empowering yourself, expanding consciousness, and growing spiritually. All these will signal a deeper understanding and create a collaborating force of unity consciousness within our community, our partners and our loved ones.

Finally, realize that this is your journey it is not a race. You are the temple, as you experience life your consciousness expands. After several days, more so weeks of daily mindfulness and transmuting these memories, you will begin in creating an infinitely positive karmic circulation in your psyche. Find a daily practice and always take a moment to express gratitude. This is a slow process, do not expect miracles overnight, the energy you put forth will be the energy you will receive, as compensation. Do the work and the work will reveal itself.

Namaste

~MariPia~

Always remember to thank those that reMIND your posts. =>.^=

Lessons Learned Series By @MariPia copyright 2005

#MariPiaBlog #LessonsLearned #Healing #InnerChild