AETH3REAL MiND : 2 :

“Fuckin' crazy,” I mutter out loud.... Sixty milligrams of state-sponsored speed had me chatting up foreign voices in my head. Self-prescribed as seen fit, I've taken enough of the shit so that if there were a dose capable of breaking me up it would have to be much more than what's been ingested. At least that's what I tell myself. The voice certainly isn't my own. I've run through the sanity checklist only to find a sweet, ancient reassurance that "real" is unknown to us. If I could remember the exact conversation, by all means I'd spill the beans but I only recall the moment it spoke and I listened. Instead of feeling tweaked or freaked a calm and secure curiosity came over me, an ambition to learn grew prevalent. I clicked and clattered on one of the many videos in front of me relative to stars. As I began sifting through many different ideas over the next 24 hours our conversations created a pattern. A thought would be provided and elaboration sought.

I went through the next day paying very close attention to this while dosed on L. Central Intelligence have some interesting projects in the works I bet, why wouldn't they have the ability to impose telepathic voices on unsuspecting individuals? Did I accidentally summon a spirit maybe? What the fuck. I wondered and wandered. I didn't know anything about occultism outside of a few Mark Passio lectures. I have always had that first stream of consciousness, the voice within, the half-wit my other half-wit consults with is alive and well so having conceived a second voice in the serene dialect of a very intelligent being is concerning. All that I could think to do was meditate on it. I never really liked meditation either. Perhaps lacking a Buddhist sense, I thought I knew myself already. The only meditation I've ever knowingly been committed to was in the form of shrugging off binges though. Reality is only lit with truth through a thorough chemical romance I once thought. To sit and meditate without getting into some dope or hallucinogens had never appeared satisfying, yet something grew different. Thoughts became increasingly lucid. For the first time in ages I had enjoyed a dream. I was perched in the desert on the brightest, clearest day I've ever seen when a beam of light, just a single, multi-colored beam about a hair's width shot across my face and then a second one protruded, abruptly intersecting the first. As I laid eyes to this in awe, a third beam of light came into play, piecing together a holographic triangle perpetuating its own motion. 

I have, for some time, had a working sense of what others are feeling and hiding, how and what they are thinking, too. It doesn't take a genius to read people, to identify their archetypes. To see lies and hear deceit in the making is not the work of a deity or messiah, but us. With the installation of a new (or perhaps very old) manifestation this life has significantly improved. Reunited with an inner form of myself, a mystical and very important consciousness out-dating my flesh casing keeps me entertained and enthralled. The massive void of “needing” chems, for instance, has significantly decreased, oddly enough, dramatically even. The little bit of food consumed is great in taste, yes, but really it all feels far too unnecessary. The sun is food. Ambition, creativity and acceptance are flowing, fresh frequencies are rolling.

I did not want to get too excited about any of this as I've been delusional before. Six days of crank in the Sunshine state left me hallucinating months of misery. This landmark event of mine had furthermore dampened any clarity I may have had until then. I do not blame methamphetamines, however. Not at all. It is an inanimate creation, one that bad education and the broken turn into a nightmare. It is utterly and absolutely our responsibility to use these to our advantage, not our demise. This I know.

A week becomes the past and we talk often, my conscience and me. New thoughts have sprung into my brain as a collection of glorious tones that ring with worldly fashion. I know what's going on here finally and to be honest I didn't think it could exist, contenment. Somewhere in the discussion we've discovered that it is an invalid build of logic ruling our reality and preventing us from setting sail within.

It is rather easy to imagine that there is a purpose for this guidance, one I am slightly hesitant in mentioning. With every hesitation, however, a very simple answer is provided. Assisting myself in the recognition of an inner light, I am self-tasked with spreading it... something I really didn't care to hear until I caught up with the story of a mighty consciousness. Once in existence by itself, a superb, brilliant light of information was all alone in the cosmos. Due to loneliness the conscience had split itself into two. At some point they get into a quarrel and divorce, the second departing to a far end of the cosmos where then it too grows lonely, numerating the self it brought into six and from there you can imagine how life has come about based on such. Through thinking, meditating and excessive reading and listening it is clear to me that this Light is in all of us and once every one of us can access it, every single one of us can be whole. I'm not particularly smart, that is clear, there's not a whole lot that is academical, motivational or even pleasant about me as I've consistently ignored those qualities. Previous to this, this sarcasm of mine had reached a level where it was constantly unidentified due to calcified glands or so damn poignant that people would be popping up like bubble wrap. I'm not kidding when I say that I have not been very cool. I've maintained a decent set of codes and ethics that have gotten me by, of course, but I've had no problems dragging the joy out of folks. Webbed into this parade of contempt sputtered tear-jerking, episodic revelations depicting all of the ways in which  humans suffer and not only because of our foolish decisions, but because we havefallen mercy to a rotten collection of soulless cunts. They have used government to disrupt evolution while propping up the disguise of a humanitarian safety-net. They have poisoned almost anything and everything people consume, they hide ancient wisdom within their sadistic, inbred distortions of family and have ultimately raped the environment. All of it is at our expense. These clowns have partied in our blood, have provoked the dissipation of our spirit and have laced us with materialism but even that appears to be amidst change...

I was in a store the other day and this little goblin lady was being quite a bitch to the sandwich maker. It was nothing abnormal, really, but these people are saturated with anal demands for a pathetic wage so we don't have to make our own fucking sandwiches, right? The customer was obscure and the sandwich maker didn't understand what the order was. In return our greasy, over-aged collection of mothballs brought out the “tone,” one subliminally declaring herself to be an impatient excuse for mushroom-deprived defecation. Upon hearing this tone I zoned into my mind to project a light from my core to hers.... The glow was unforgivable. A straight beam blared up into the cosmos from within each of us and “OMMMM!” The vibration buzzed through my head and the lights became brighter for a few moments. I became happier as these beams just scoured the universe. White light began falling out of all eyes and mouths. The rolling smoke of dry ice twirled from orifices everywhere. Binaurals played over the mantra and what happened next was too damn ridiculous. The troll's eyes dilated, the corners of her mouth began to lift and she stood up straight. When she spoke next it was with a more pleasant tone. She began to say "please" and "thank you" as if she meant it. For the remainder of the interaction she was kind. After that who knows? If I had to guess she went back to being a bitch like I have gone back to being an asshole time and time again. While it strikes me as a foolish endeavor to tell others to find their light, to seek the light, to just discover that fucking light already, I can't help but think "what the fuck?" When all else was so miserably wrong I thought I found a Light, yes; all to realize that a light, in all of the darkness, was merely turned on.