AETH3REAL MiND

Many of us can take a look around and see that there is a problem, and simultaneous we are blind to a solution. The simulated need of money, for instance, is the reality we have learned to create food with, to create shelter and maintain a comfortable life with. To further this illusion, we have been tricked (by ourselves and others) into thinking that it is the only production of comfort and survival. It is to those who seem trapped by it, or unfulfilled, in which I welcome to a different plane. There is a Light we are missing. A vast congregation of information is absent of most. People are, in a way difficult to understand and ridiculous to hear, harvested. It is those unaware of the true soul that fall victim to this depravity. I am not here to blow smoke, (not here to blow it up your ass, anyways). If we are anything alike I seek the same changes as you, and a method that accepts such shines bright from within. It is wisdom the ancients have used long before we were viable seeds. Before getting into it anymore, I'd like to make it absolutely clear what sort of person I have been in this life. It may be important to the search coming.

Following orders have never been anything of value to me. External orders I speak of, no school or babysitter could have an easy earning with such meddling energy. Once in middle school I realized that the force of my father, who I love very much, was no longer a threat to my actions. I was not scared of his anger any longer and he put forth no more effort into the physical modding of my actions. We only bonded as two individual men after that. Upon such, I quit performing many of my own self-reservations, long after they were tightly bottled the cork finally blew and what had been reserved came spraying out. The wheel to this vehicle solidified in my hands. Fucking cussing on the playground at an age where kids would gasp and rat, I remember all the times I wouldn't fit in. High school did not go well either. Nor will it ever go well for the individual who takes notice of the deceptions run by the State. No one seemed to know what life is, what it actually is, creating an intense obstacle of unforgiving spite towards  those with an occupation in the regurgitation of disinformation.

In no time I had found drugs, the soul's easy-access pass to an ambition for thought and experience, a couple of them becoming drugs that I used in not so lovely ways often. At the time I wasn't responsive to anything spiritual, not consciously.  It had always sounded like a sales pitch aimed at saps and suckers to me; I just wanted to get my kicks, which I've had plenty of, all to realize how much hate I have for everyone. The only connection we seemed to have at one point, (me and you and you and me), was that me and you are intensely daft from improper learning. "I am no less daft," I once thought,  "just cynically aware of it." So aside from failing out of school after going the scheduled years, I hurt a lot of feelings and numbed a lot of brain cells. If I was sensitive no one could tell. Not even myself. The structure was too enforced and the interest nonexistent. School came to an end and I drifted into a somewhat more independent life after declaring college utterly and permanently useless to my existence, spent a year romping with people who to this day are spiraling with light yet conceal it timidly. I met a dame of universal lesson and migrated into another sort of life eventually, a life shared with the new yet split from the old a bit, a life with plenty of acceptance and new experiences until years down the road, that is when our acceptance had transformed into misery and distrust. We agreed it was time to split after splintering ourselves plenty. So we did, we let go and it turned out to be for the best even though it felt like the worst. We went our own ways, myself getting with my closest comrade to ride out a long-term smack binge down to the panhandle where we set off into the forests and began living a simpler life. That was the re-birthing of a soul I can honestly chant. It was also a decision that I never wanted to make but made, changing life for the better in its completion -- one of the endless lessons worth existing for. On that journey I ate my weight in fungi, enlivening myself with a portion of wonder that I did not understand...

I have been a drug user from the day I was born with serotonin and dopamine (etc.) running through the brain, and I have moved on to many other chemicals in my time here. These chemicals have produced a glimpse into Divinity and Treachery, sometimes both at once, treachery only arising from tough love. Realizing that we don't want to realize what we are in fact realizing will sting. People run from these realizations too much of the time, they will shut right off to avoid them we have witnessed time and time again. The breaking of binding habits may be mind consuming but deep within each of these understandings is the lesson of a life. 

Hunter Thompson once told a class of college students something along the lines of “I do not advocate the use of drugs or insanity” he chuckled, “but they work for me.” And that is where we stand. Not everyone needs to, or is even capable of consuming such quantity as this is where others are bound to hurt themselves by not stepping back. We must build a proper reasoning with drugs if this is our path, as the only silver cord that can save us in this instance, is found only in pretext. 

The war on drugs, if you haven't figured it out, is a war on our consciousness. I have never beLIEved in a religion, statism included. Worship is no solution, merely a dilution to what we really seek. What we really seek is inside of us. There is a beam of light at the core of us and it may be awake in some already, but it nests in all and will awaken in all. If one stands unsure about its liveliness one lacks true contact with it. If you were to consider this light as a “God” for a moment, in practice of imagination, picture a single splinter of light in all of the inner cosmos... see that? That is a strand of the brightest, whitest light; acknowledge it in every breath. I sense that it is time to shed the logic that we have falsely mandated as ruler to our senses and breathe deep. Our time to light the innerverse is now, let's visit the stars and witness sacred geometries, explore the cosmos with questions and lead ourselves! Teach ourselves! I will find joy in doing the same.

As I give these impressions just understand that you're reading the statements of someone who will sit with his comrades and drink bottom shelf liquor until a frozen mound of vomit has crusted over on my pants. I ate a pile of some fucked-up molly imitation one morning while straddling home through the residential route of town on foot. It was the only thing that made sense, this stroll, as a glorious summer sun warmed my bones. So I had an odd stutter-step going down the road, looking haggard probably, when a man well passed the midlife crises stage of existence sluggishly pursued a cobblestone pathway from his little white house to discover that the snail mail, in accordance with every other day of the week, is not delivered, nor ever has been delivered by 6 a.m. Upon this revelation he had changed motion to watch now, wide eyed and red faced, gleaming as if I were a slightly disgusting but definitely entertaining disaster about to happen. Man was he right. Travelling passed his forced “hello” and odd look of expectation, I suddenly retched out and splattered down a mesmerizing fifth of bile-saturated vodka beneath a sea of molly-foam froth. The man could have gotten intoxicated off of the smell alone... but I just kept pacing along. If he wanted to get high there was no need to tell him how. Necessity is the mother of invention they say. I took a look over my shoulder maybe twenty seconds down the road and there he stood, struck in awe, dazing into the depths of something he could never identify. This doesn't quite qualify as littering, everything there was biodegradable as far as I know, so I never felt too bad about it.

I am telling you this to let you know I am far from perfect and behaved yet such does not define my existence as good or bad or right or wrong, these weird happenings. I produce a light that we are all evolving to produce. But I don't know. I'm not here to show you sanity. I also don't strive for you to believe anything in all truthfulness, as those who do know what I mean don't really believe me, per se, but perhaps are more reassured in themselves now. It has little to do with me even though that is the perspective. It is becoming clear that such phenomenon is going on elsewhere, even if only in our heads. With the proper search for understanding, a tad more of that overly-logical consciousness, the one in which denies our self the truth it should seek, evaporates.

Only after looking back through my life and overcoming the complete misery that has, from time to time, swelled over me in the past have I kept my head above water long enough to meet who I am. This is an important lesson. The lack of reasoning from the people of this society had formed what I projected as a melancholy vibe. It haunted me for awhile. Once tired of feeling miserably fucking sad and confused from blame games, the energy converted into anger. All of the bombings and set-ups, all of the blood and rip-offs, all of the illusions over currency and endless lusts for more material things had driven this and that into a fit of rage, manifesting a constantly berating style of socialization. Becoming aware of this, change will continue and although I am still a rotten fuck in dying ways it is a permanent light carried from the inner universe and intoto consciousness that mends many of us with something we may have never before allowed into existence. There is no dose of Life that I'll ignore as evolution rolls forth from the inside out. Continuing this search within from a vessel of curiosity and ambition to further elaborate on who and what we truly are is a reasonable contribution to humanity. The information is there. Aim to be Truth and the rest will fall in place.

Different reading material for exploration:

http://onlinebooks.library.upenn.edu/webbin/book/browse?type=lcsubc&key=Occultism

https://web-e-books.com/unicorn/excerpt.html