Some Quick Thoughts on Expat Life

I've been thinking a lot lately about how to distill down the experiences of the last seven years, and how to communicate the challenges, joys and woes and leavings one's home. 

This has required me to look back in a systematic way, and in so doing quite a few things have bubbled up in my mind. 

This may be obvious, but life as an expat--making a home in a new country--is nothing like traveling. I love traveling; it's freedom, adventure, novelty, culture, food, creation...most of the things I love rolled into one. Making a new life in a new country ain't like that.

You'll miss the food at home more than you ever thought possible.

Every country smells different; every country's air feels different on your skin, and even the sun's light will strike your eye in a strange way. It's visceral.

Some of your basic living habits, patterns and rhythms will change permanently by moving to a new place. Not sure why, but a lot of expats have mentioned this in one way or another. New sleep patterns, new food cravings...things like that.

There will be times you hate your new home. There will be times some part of it will infuriate you, disgust you, make you sad and leaden. 

And there will be times of transcendent joy. Even better, there will be times of transcendent learning and growth...if you're doing it right, anyway.

Because it's possible to move to a new country and carry your old one like a shield against anything alien. To walk around in a bubble that says: screw you, I'm a/an ____ and that's that. Too many people do that, and no, it's not just Americans.

It's also possible to change too much. I have principles I won't violate. I've seen many people here in Vietnam adopt the negative aspects of the culture (a laziness toward rules and proper conduct, corruption, even hygiene things like picking your nose in public) while not taking any of the positive ones. "Going native" is probably on the list of verboten phrases now, but whatever--that's the term.

You will see your home country with more objectivity and a more critical eye. You will also probably end up loving it all the more, and grieving all the more when it stumbles.

To do it  right, you should be prepared to say 'yes' to whatever random things flow your way (that don't compromise your principles, of course...) It may change your life, it may not, but at least things will get interesting. 

Or you can stay in and watch Netflix, wherever you are. But you'd be missing out. Hell, you're missing out if that's all you do in your home country.

Because wherever you are, this is it. This is life, and it takes guts to do it right. Life is easier than it ever has been in human history; we have comfort and convenience that Emperors and Popes would not have dared to demand. We have technology that would be as magic to someone from a century or two ago. So yes, you can sit in air-conditioned comfort (and believe me, I have done my share of that) but in the end, that's just not worth it. Sometimes you have to leave home to finish growing up, to see that we need to struggle if we are to achieve anything--that we need to put in effort if we are even to be fulfilled as human beings.

But it's worth it. It's the best decision I ever made. And while it has been difficult at times--loneliness, isolation, futility--I think we must all leave our homes and go out into the world, at least for a little while. This is not a new thought, but it's one that deserves to be repeated.