FILE 13 ( The Most Truthful Fiction or Non Fiction)

                                          Get Through The Night

My first episode of madness started when I lived in roural North Carolina. My Dad had moved my brother and I into a manufactured home in a nice enough mobile home park. There were so many incidents that happened I don't know if I can get them chronologically accurate. I only lived there a year but accumulated many odd experiences.

I'll begin with the fact that I was opening up spiritually and new to meditation. I was only 16 years old with my first tax paying job, playing drums in a band and going to a new High School.

I remember my brother was doing better than me socially, meeting many people and introducing me to this band in need of a drummer. I never fully clicked with the band and later on that year a band member simply dropped off my drums and we smoked a cigar.

The entire time I lived there I did not truly connect to anyone. There are many times throughout my life I could swear I was never meant to live. In those times wherever I was and whatever I was doing didn't seem to connect at all.

To truly start off somewhere notable I will share a meditation experience that turned into a living nightmare. For awhile since I was so lost living in roural North Carolina I turned toward more spiritual understanding. I was studying yoga, christianity, paranormal type literature. There was a while where I was really trying to reach out in meditation and find direction and guidance from "God". Still to this day I truly don't know or understand what and who "God" truly is for myself.

One night I seemed to be getting to a higher meditative state and I thought I was upon a breakthrough. There was so much anticipation and expectation and this higher state of energy around me suddenly bursted. What I felt next was all my energy from head to the root of my spine emptied like it was simply drained into the earth.

However high this energy was getting to it bottomed out to the exact opposite. When it did I felt as if I had dropped into a lower dimension. A shadow circle opened up all around where I was sitting. From this shadow portal all these little shadow creatures were coming out and all along my walls and going out my door. I really felt as if I had just ended up with a worst scenario case of meditation.

I absolutely don't like going back to this memory because it is not anywhere near the typical meditation experiences I have now which are very pleasant and peaceful.

So painfully recalling again I remember walking out of my room seeing these shadow creatures going for my Dad and Brothers rooms. I remember I was praying all night that this would all stop. Then I remember hearing these sinister voices surrounding the manufactured home. I heard a shotgun sound at one point. I was ready to attack someone, I took my skateboard in hand out the door and crept around my home ready to defend my home.

No one was around and I was thoroughly freaked out. I waited until dawn so thankful that the sun would eventually rise. I remember for an hour before dawn I could hear this very low almost rumbling sound. Strange but I felt as if I was actually hearing the earth rotate.

I could not fall asleep until sunrise and I only slept a few hours. I remember my dad was waiting on someone to come by to finish the bottom trim on the home. There was a trail of white feathers from the pond behind us coming close to the home. It seems someone had shot a duck or swan in the dead of the night leaving a trail of it's plucked feathers. The man putting trim around the home checked out the trailer because of the story I related to my Dad.

This man was kind enough to check out under the home inspecting to see if anything had been damaged. He said everything was fine except for a tube that was cut leading to the AC vents.

The Apparition Of The Pond

It didn't happen too often but sometimes at the crack of dawn I would notice an apparition with the pond behind our home.

I would be half awake staring out over the dimly sunlit pond and notice something very vividly that was never there any other time. It was a Gallos for execution style hanging. I could recall vividly a row boat containing two people rowing out to the Gallos. There was no mistaking this Gallos with a noose and platform that looked newly built.

I believe I told my Brother and Dad about this rare occurence. I remember my brother relayed this vivid nightmare of African American Slaves reaching out and pulling on him for help. It became obvious to me that this nice mobile home community was built on haunted land.

Honestly, there is nothing more to share about this other than the fact that shortly after noticing this spectacle it would not be there anymore.

The Wolf Man and Odd Occurences

I suppose I spent a little too much time around this trailer park. I would always notice a strange home that I would pass on my walk to my high school bus stop. Another New Manufactured Home like our own that needed the bottom trim. I remember months going by and the trimming was never put on but stranger than that the living room window had no blinds.

I remember for months looking into this mobile home as I passed by seeing showcase furniture all situated together. Going back and forth along this mobile home I never noticed anyone stirring in this intentional showcase, fishbowl type scenario. I definitely know there was someone living there as I would see an Old Rusty Pickup Truck parked there at times.

This individual was a middle aged man that drove this weathered pickup truck. He always seemed to be coming and going at odd times. I always wondered if he lived there or not because of the fact the bottom trim was never done.

I asked my Dad about him, does the older man in the rusty pickup truck live there or working on that home?

I recall my Dad answering, I believe he does live there and that he is a carpenter as well.

There was so much peculiarity about this older man and his living situation that I had to investigate. I remember wandering around at times trying to find a situation where I could start up a conversation if I could when he was outside. I remember this was very difficult as he was always gone or there at odd times.

So eventually I noticed his truck coming and I conveniently hid behind a big tree across the road from his home. I made sure I was not in his line of sight as he was driving towards his home and finally when he parked. I didn't want to frighten him.

I remember being very cool and calm about it all seriously just wanting to observe this man. I heard his creaky door open to his truck and peered very closely around the tree. I really couldn't believe what I was watching. He had crutches at first that he was trying to use then he went down on all fours. It truly appeared that he had morphed into a wolf or dog. While on all fours he had the body language of a Wolf or Dog. I distinctly remember a tail moving behind him.

I could only think walk towards him and get a closer look, if he was having trouble walking I would offer help. I could hardly believe what I was seeing so I really needed clarity here considering everything. As I was approaching he came upright again and I believe I asked if he needed help. I can't quite remember the conversation I had with him but noticed up close his face and his eyes were changing. His face honestly appeared to be boiling and his eyes were shifting. From the memory it was unclear what his eyes were doing other than changing color and structure. His face reminded me when cooking a pancake and the bubbles would pop revealing holes.

As you can relate I could hardly relate what the conversation was about but I do remember him asking me where I lived in the park. I remember simply saying " One of them".

I do not like recalling this story, especially clearly enough to write about but I will finish this one up anyways.

There are two more times I encountered pure strangeness with this man never knowing his name as well. I remember another occurence of him on all fours like a wolf or dog and he went into his home from underneath. I always wondered why the bottom trim was never done unless that is how he was entering his mobile home. I clearly witnessed him walking with the body language of a canine on all fours under his home to enter through a hatch door. It truly appeared that this was the usual as it was all very casual.

I didn't notice any signs of struggle with this all is what I would like to conclude. This entire year in North Carolina at this park I actually witnessed very little of this man. The truth of the matter is that I was busy with school and a part time job, I didn't have much of a social life though.

There was one last occurence with this man and it shocked me to the point of not even being able to talk about. On one hand the final experience could be innocent enough sounding but could scream another story entirely. I absolutely loved the fact that my brother would consider and ponder the strangeness of my stories and even offer clarity. My Dad on the other hand disregards anything odd and often blankets everything with some nice frosty sweet coating of understanding. It's the usual for many hard working parents with their kids, unless you're physically hurt or bleeding all is well.

It was a beautiful sunny day and I happen to notice this man outside standing upright next to a metal storage container without a top to the container. He has a garden hose and is watering inside this metal storage container that only goes a little higher than his waist. So this man is gazing into this container watering with a big smile.

I felt like walking up close to him and saying hello. All I could hear was the water splishing and splashing around and nothing else as I walked very closely. I remember saying hello and getting a good look inside this container he was watering. It was all these pale little boys that almost seemed to be playing around but were making no sounds. It was the last thing I expected to see passing by was little pale boys enjoying being watered but were mute. At no point could I hear any voices or the sounds of children at play. I do actually recall the dark wet mud beneath these boys. This didn't look like a pool, it was definitely strange and had no entrance. In fact I actually remember on his property there was an above ground pool. This was a small almost 4 ft' high square metal container with no top, almost like a pen.

Finally, relief as that concludes my Wolf Man stories. It's hard to write these memories in my best clarity because they sincerely creep me out.

Coming Home After The Phoenix Lights

North Carolina was not turning out to be anything but strange and laborious for myself. I saved up checks from my pizza diner job for months so I could finally exit from this living situation. I remember I had my 17th birthday there in the mobile home with no friends, only my Dad and Uncle wished me well. My Father seemed to truly perk up finally when I was leaving and my Uncle Brett was animated too. They laid a very generous amount of cash on me for my greyhound trip to Arizona.

Phoenix is my home city and I would be moving in with my only Brother Jason and Mother. Greyhound trips across the nation end up being exhausting with all the stops and of course being responsible for my luggage. I actually had to chase down some mexicans in Texas who took my box of belongings but handed it back without a hassle.

I was happy to arrive in Phoenix with something to contribute because my Brother and Mom had just been robbed. My Brother told me about the Phoenix Lights which happened earlier that year. It was a Mass UFO sighting where observers could not see the stars inbetween the lights that passed slowly over Phoenix, my Brother concluded.

My Brother had a job at a Christian Radio Station and my Mother was at another Burn Out Social Work Job. I myself was not in Good Shape, mentally and had to adjust to my new environment learning the public transportion and be productive. Once again my Brother had a thriving social life, he was offically a young adult and I was sponging off his social life.

I was attending my third high school, Metro Tech, which is a Vocational High School. At some point I was starting to drown in my work because it was more intense and fast paced. I only had two classes a day but they were long and loaded into micro semesters. I was starting to be absent more than was healthy because socially I was not doing well. I was 17 and the school was mainly full of people well into their young adult years. So I was drowning that way as well.

One day I cracked and freaked out on a teacher, I remember she would have worked with me and told me if I take off I will be expelled. At the time it was all overwhelming me and I hopped on a city bus and lost track of where I was going.

I ended up in an ugly part of Phoenix, Industrial area far from anything I recognized. There was a huge Thunder Storm that lasted all night with plenty of rain. I wandered into so many strange areas that night in the storm. One place was all lit up with no vehicles in the parking lot and huge 2D cut outs of palm trees. At one point I was trudging through a huge muddy field and kept loosing my shoes from the mud going so deep. In this huge muddy field there was nothing but a little shack with spotlights and megaphones attached, no cars around. The Megaphones were blabbing about something and a Ghetto Bird ( Police Helicopter) was shining it's spotlight around as well.

I got out of this mud trap field, crossed the street into a dark industrial warehouse zone. By this time I was getting very exhausted, I had ditched my wallet belongings earlier as if to say I'm done with this life. I was gone from my typical logical, that's not wise self. I remember there was a big muddy puddle around the darkened warehouses and I fell down in it and started to make a mud angel e.g snow angels.

I got back up and finally sat down on some rocks building a pyramid out of the rocks and mud around me that was only a foot high. I was kind of looking behind me and kept noticing a jet black limosine with midnight tinted windows. This limosine was about 8 feet from me and no other vehicles around. It was parked with its headlights toward me. I distinctly remember there was a bright red tag near me and I almost grabbed it but noticed a dark metallic thorn ball.

I thought to myself, I need to get out of here, this feels very ominous. I pray for strength to get back up and slowly proceed out of this warehouse industrial area. I get to a better looking part of Phoenix, at one point I tried jacking a vehicle that was not locked up. I tore off the steering column but had no tools or anything and broke down crying in this car at some closed down repair shop. I remove myself from that situation because one, it's a crime and I know nothing about stealing a car.

I proceed to a commercial building and sit down next to a lit back door. I start meditating and hope for an answer to end this stormy crazy night. I opened my eyes and stared up into the night sky that had cleared and noticed an orb that shot a blue beam at me. I instinctually knew that I was almost through and had the energy and clarity to continue on. I walked into some dark streets of a nice neighborhood where I ended up following a couple casually walking from far behind.

They turned a corner on to a lit up street where I saw a gas station. I asked the gas station clerk if I could use his phone to make a quick call. The clerk told me that he could not but maybe Circle K, a convenience store right next to them would. I asked the Circle K Clerk to use the phone and she gave me her cell phone to make a quick call. I called home but no answer, I thanked her. The last thing I could think of is make a collect call from the pay phone. There ended up being a couple of quarters in the slot. I made a call to my house again and my Brother picked up. My Brother was worried and asked where I was and that he would pick me up. I raised my voice to ask a black woman going into Circle K " Where is this Circle K?", " You at 59th and Roeser Road Mother Fucker!" as she entered the store.

My Brother ended up getting there quick, that episode was through.

Rejoin the Matrix

The mental health system is definitely a mind control system and is based on no proven science. The very nature of the state funded system is to persuade psychologically unstable individuals into relief with their drugs. The drugs actually end up altering natural brain chemistry and essentially create a bigger problem.

It was after this last episode that I was officially institutionalized. It took years to realize that this is not about people's health or a good will charity of any kind. This is a system that perpetuate's illness for the sake of billing state funded insurance. It functions like a maze that ends up being a trap.

It is a system full of contradictions. On one hand it's about empowerment and the other it doesn't truly challenge or motivate most people's aptitude. It's not designed to truly create real healing or preparation to be a higher functioning individual. It is structured and focused on the low IQ and EQ which is discouraging actually for many. The system treats everyone like Develop Mentally Delayed Adults or Adult's with the minds of a child. This is clearly not empowerment for most!

It is not a system most people can be proud of when many programs are rigged with your child safety protocol. The very core of my problem with the mental health system is the total lack of trust and treatment of clients like prisoners in a cage free prison.

I have many more Naturally Altered Experiences which progressively become more baffling and I am only telling the most concrete versions without contriving information.