War will wash it all off

Chapter 16

‘The most horryfying’

Back to East Prussia, February 1945

Yes, it was five months ago, when our forces in East Prussia caught up with civilians who tried to evacuate from Goldap, Insterburg and other towns left behind by German troops. Elders, women, children, large patriarchal families were slowly moving to the West by cars, carriages, afoot, filling every road in the country.

Our tank crews, infantry, artillerymen, radio operators kicked them away to clear the way, throwing their carts with furniture, valises, briefcases, horses into ditches on sides of roads, pushed elders and boys away, then violated women and girls by thousands, forgot about duty and honor.

Women, mothers and their daughters, lying to the left and right along the highway, there is a crowd of cackling grunts with their pants down in front of each one.

Those who bleed and fading out are being pulled aside, children who are desperately trying to help being shot. Cackling, roaring, laughter, cries and moans. And their commanders, their majors, their colonels, standing on the highway, some laughing, some...regulating. That’s for every soldier to participate, without exclusions.

No, it wasn’t a ringing endorsement, nor a revenge to damned occupants, it was all out hellish deadly orgy.

Permissiveness, impunity, inhumanity and cruel logic of a mad crowd.

Shocked, I’ve been sitting in the cabin of a truck and hallucinating about Flaubert’s Carthage, realizing that war won’t wash it all off, my driver Demidov stood in line. Colonel who conducted this madness now also standing and waiting for his turn while major shooting witnesses, hysterical elders and kids.

‘Enough! Buckle up!’

Another unit is already closing in.

Another stop, I can’t constrain my men who already queuing up in new lines. I can’t hold my puke.

Bodies of women, elders, children lying amongst ripped closing and flipped carts, reaching horizon. Highway is cleared for movement. Dusk.

German fachwerks to the left and right. Order to lodge for the night.

It is a part of our army’s HQ: artillery command, anti-aircraft, political department.

My unit gets a fachwerk located two kilometers from highway.

Each room is filled with bodies of children, elders, raped and shot women.

We are so tired that falling asleep right on the floor ignoring them.

On the next morning we set up the radio and reported to the front. Our orders were to set up communication lines. Forward units collided with defending German divisions at last.

Germans stopped falling back and fight to the last breath. Enemy aircrafts start ploughing the air. I think these clashes could be compared with ones back in Stalingrad by sheer amount of losses from both sides and straight-out cruelty. All around me.

I sit on the phone whole day. Getting orders, conducting orders. There is a brief time in the midday to get rid of the bodies.

Don’t remember how and where did we dispose them.

In the garden?

Service premises? I cannot remember where, I know – we haven’t buried them.

I think there were coroner units, but that was far back in the rear.

I help carrying bodies. Stopping near the wall.

Springtime, first grass on the ground, bright hot sun. Our house protruding with weathervanes, gothic style, covered with red tiles, probably two hundred years old, yard with stone path, maybe five hundred years old…

We are in Europe, in EUROPE!

Dreams carried me away, but suddenly, two sixteen-year-old German girls entered the open gate. No fear in the eyes, just horrible worrying.

They saw me and rushed to explain something rapidly. I don’t understand the language but I hear words ‘mutter’, ‘fatter’, ‘bruder’.

I’ve come to conclusion that they’ve lost their family during the panic. I felt incredibly sorry for them, realizing that they must flee the HQ yard as fast as they can, I talk to them, ‘Mutter, fatter, bruder – nicht!’, showing the second gate on the far side, pushing them in that direction.

They understood me, swiftly leaving my line of sight. I gasp with relief – at least I’ve saved two of them… I go upstairs to coordinate troops, however less than twenty minutes later I hear some squalling outside.

I rushed to the window.

There was major A. on the stairs with two sergeants holding those girls, against them – all HQ service stuff – drivers, orderlies, clerks, messengers.

‘Nikolayev, Sidorov, Kharitonov, Pimenov’, commands the major, ‘Hold their arms and legs, tear the clothes! Form two ranks! Pants down! Right and left, one by one, take’em!’

My operators rushed downstairs to get their piece. Those two girls whom I previously ‘saved’ lying on ancient stones, hands in grips, mouths shut with scarfs, legs wide – they already don’t bother resisting while fifth sergeant ripping their tops, bra, skirts, pants.

My hello girls also in the yard – laugher and cursing.

Ranks only piling up, one standing up – other getting down, blood spreads around martyrs, there’s no end to ranks and cackle.

Girls are unconscious, orgy continues.

Lordly commands major A. Here last one stands up, two half-dead bodies are vandalized by sergeants.

Major A. Pulls out his Nagant and shoots martyrs gory mouths, sergeants pull mutilated bodies to the swinery. Hungry hogs start tearing their ears, noses, breasts, after couple of minutes there is only two skulls, bones and spines.

I am terrified and disgusted. I puke.

Major A. – for god’s sake!

I can’t work, I run nowhere, I return, I must see it. I enter the swinery.

There are hog eyes filled with blood, two skulls, jaw, several cartilages, bones and two golden crests among straw and shit – girls whom I ‘saved’…

Original : War will wash it all off