Is it Easy to Really Understand Men?

Understanding men is not so easy to do, in view of the fact that men and women were made deliberately different, and complementary to each other for mating. It follows that men are going to see the world differently, have alternate perspectives from women, and basically take a 'male' view of life. Thus both sexes have to make an extra effort to accommodate and appreciate one another.

Understanding anyone comes out of our own perceptions and desire to learn, and the familiarity with which we gradually come to know them. However, as such familiarity with men is often denied women, because of the social separation of the sexes and different lifestyles, understanding men is only possible through appreciating and accepting the following known elements:

1. Men tend to be more practical, women more emotional, and that difference has to be acknowledged. One can expect to bond with a woman, but not necessarily with a man, simply because the world of men is highly competitive. Men are always seeking the opportunity to prove themselves, to go one better, and to establish their significance and worth, hence any genuine trust and comradeship take a long time to build and accept.

2. Most men view everything around sex differently from women.  For example, for many men, the sexual act is a form of release. Nothing more. Hence why they can have a 'one night stand' without even batting an eyelash, and why many seek 'friends' as dates before anything develops. Whereas, for many women, sex is regarded as a prelude to being valued; something more emotional and meaningful. That's why some men can have an extra-marital experience and say how it means little to them, and women find that hard to believe and understand, because they are judging men from their own emotional perspective on the issue.

Few men are interested in gossip, per se, unless it has a purpose that is useful to them, it raises their awareness, or improves an opportunity. Hence why they might regard the emotional approach to chat by women as gossip or nagging.

3. Men do not converse the same general way as women. Men's conversation serves a definite purpose: either to get an answer to a particular concern, like "Is something wrong?"; to provide an answer required of them; to boast or brag about something valuable (men's toys, possessions etc.); to compete in a given situation, or to elicit basic information. It means very few men are interested in gossip, per se, unless it has a purpose that is useful to them, it raises their awareness, or improves an opportunity. Hence why they might regard the emotional approach to chat by women as gossip, or nagging.

4. Many men tend to like intelligent women, as long as they are not 'too intelligent' and in control. Being competitive, the concept of power means a lot to men, and most men wish to retain that difference in their relationship. Thus an intelligent woman is fine, so long as she still has to defer to her mate for some answers!

5. Most men have a different perspective of their role in the home. They are likely to feel that their main role is still the protector, hunter-gatherer, providing a secure foundation for their partner, regardless of whether they are there every day to love and affirm that partner. However, many women just want to be valued, loved and affirmed above all, with the protector role coming further back in their requirements! This is why many relationships go to the wall through a lack of understanding between the sexes regarding their differing expectations within the partnership.

Generally, it is very hard to understand men when one is not a man. Unless one has walked in a man's shoes, bearing in mind that men are also unique individuals, it will never be possible to know exactly how they view the world and how one can please them, unless they actually say what matters for them. As most people are basically selfish anyway, caring mainly about their own needs, trying to understand someone else is usually last in their priority. One can only assume that men and women will always remain fascinating enigmas to each other, unless they take the trouble to genuinely increase mutual understanding and appreciation of that significant little difference.