How to choose the best gifts for everybody

It's almost Christmas and some special occasions, we're still scrambling around attempting to pick the perfect gift for a friend or relative. What can I buy the gift for my father? What are the best Christmas gifts for brother? What does my girlfriend want? We ask ourselves these questions and we can spend hours in shops. There's another way to choose the perfect gift but it includes changing our impression of what gift giving is all about.

The issue is that we consider giving gifts as the exchange of physical objects. A valuable alternative is to think about the gift as communication. When you give a gift to somebody, what you're really doing is speaking to them. You purchase, make or find a gift that says something to the receiver. They get the gift and if they're perceptive, they understand your message. However, by somehow we forget it when we go to pick gifts. We often focus first on the object or the need, after that check what message it conveys.

You may have acknowledged gifts are communication, when somebody gives you a gift, you're instantly aware of what it says. A few presents communicate distance, others intimacy. It says "I love your creativity", another "You should look after yourself", some are downright annoying. What presents communicate is rarely attached to their price or their prestige. A portion of the gifts that I have appreciated the most have been practically free for the provider to arrange for me, however, have said so much that they have been immensely valuable.

When you pick the gifts, if you harness this thinking, you can rapidly move towards the perfect gift. Ask yourself in the first place, "What would I like to say to this person?". Then move on to "What would I be able to give them that will communicate this?". This is inverse to the more common "What can I buy them?" and "What will they think of it?". 

This method can help you give some slightly beat gifts, but at least they will be meaningful. One present that I got recently was given as a result of this kind of thinking. My husband gave me a 1-day ticket of freedom. He took on all of my responsibilities for a day and sent me off to Tokyo to play. He wanted to say that he appreciated everything that I did and that he comprehended that my responsibilities were in some cases a burden to me. That helped him to design the ideal gift which was simply a break from it all. I loved it.

The presents that we come up with when we think of gifts as communication might be similar that we would think in different ways. The difference may basically be that we touch at a choice faster and with more certainty that our present is appropriate for that person. 

Obviously, there is a caveat. If you don't have anything positive to say to the person, however feel that you should give a gift, and then go back to your old ways of thinking. Communicating negative things with a present may not be the best way to enjoy your Christmas. Just try it when you are feeling brave.