Donald Trump says 'Build The Flat Earth. Make The Anunnaki Pay For It.'

*Originally published July 2017, Minds updated the date when I edited it. See the pic at the bottom. I have no idea why Minds blogs do this: 

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This is Xylen Roberts with Telestic TV reporting on a very special story. Donald Trump, our whateverteenth commander in chief, gave a press conference today where he gave this bold statement:

"We're gonna build a flat earth. Its gonna be a wonderful flat earth, just the best. And we're gonna have the Anunnaki pay for it."

This came as a shock to the millions of Anunnaki now residing in Australia, which, as you know, all of you being good people residing in the year 2030, is the only country left after World War Whatever Letter Comes After Z decimated the rest of the world with atom bombs. As a result, the thousands of people left over were forced to retreat to Australia. I'm sorry I got my facts wrong here. Billions of people in fact...somehow living in Australia together. I have no idea how. Blame the author for not thoroughly explaining this. Anyway, Lord Admiral Trump continued:

"Seriously, we have thousands of undocumented Anunnaki coming to this world from the Sirius star system. Portugal has a real Anunnaki problem. All these 9 foot tall aliens walking around, stealing jobs from honest hard working construction workers cuz they can reach higher spots thanks to their inhuman heights. Its a disaster. So we're gonna build a flat earth."

Trump pointed to a projected picture of Chevy Chase eating a dorito, proceeded by an animated gif of Jackie Chan kicking Mr. Chase. The animated gif of Jackie Chan spoke: 'HIIIII-YA! I'm Jackie Chan, and the only thing I like more than doing my Brazillian Karate moves is Flat Earthin' with my bitches. HOY!" Chan did a chop as some post-koto Tokyo rap blazurrped on the soundtrack. Shit was straight fire. STRAIGHT. FUCKING. FIRE. 4 reeeeeeeelz. Then there was this kickass, like, Shnoobtube video that played directly afterwards where Eddie Bravo explained Flat Earth and how building was gonna work and all that fucking shit. Trump continued.

"So yeeeeeees, we're gonna build the flat earth right next to our own, but bridged to ours..." Trump motioned with a circle and three fingers hands gesture, the universal hand sign for white supremacy APPAREANTLY. So says Tariq Nasheed, who has the self awareness of Rolling Stone Keith Richards after an eternity of hard drugs. "...via a portal. All the Anunnaki can go over there to hang out. We'll have lots of crystal meditation star pools over there, I've heard they looooove that."

But not everyone approves of the Flat Earth. One of those who doesn't is former Libertarian presidential nominee Gary Johnson:

"The Anunnaki are cool people. I was just hanging out in one of their crystal meditation star pools with some of them the other day. Straight up fucked a couple of them. Female Anunnaki...I believe. They could've been men. I honestly have no fucking idea. Anyway, you can't scapegoat on the Anunnaki. This is just a blatant attempt to push the age old game of war and profit...which actually, as a politician who is rumored to be a Libertarian plant so the author who is writing these words has heard, but that could've been pro-Trump propganda or pro-Clinton propoganda, who the fuck even knows anymore. Anyway, this is secretly something me, Gary Jonhnson, am in favor of. Not with the Anunnaki but with the Reptillians. Their the ones you gotta watch out for. I think we should roundup all the Reptillians and put them in our for-profit prisons personally. Good for nothing sonsabitches."

Zibzorv, the galactic leader of Zangzord District, the main Anunnaki living space on Earth, as well as the chief Anunnaki ambassador, had this to say: 'Donary Clump can kiss my beatiful Anunnaki ASS. How can someone in favor of transspeciesism as much as they are be so prejudiced against us?'

Reporter: 'You must be referring to Clump, the leader of one of the parallel diensions Earths, and not Donald Trump, right?'

Zibzorv: 'Ohhhhhhhh right, that's right. Well he's a..' Zibzorv temporarily morphs into a cariacture of an old redneck '...dang blasted jerky boy in any dimension." He/She/They morph back. "Except in this dimension, he's this guy who cross speciesed with Hillary Clinton and became like the most awful piece of shit you could possibly imagine. Then Bernie Sanders tried socialism and that was a fucking disaster. Fucked the economy in the butthole like an anal sex virgin. Statism pretty much ruins everything. We Anunnaki are resource based economists. But more on that some other time."

Here is a video compilation of various citizens talking about Trump's proposed plans: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ck8ODlZa7Q0

Despite the criticism, Donald Trump seemed optimistic of building the Flat Earth. "Eric Dubay approves of me doing this, he told me so."

"No I didn't." an aging, now 76 or something like that Eric Dubay tweeted out via the mindplant thingie implanted in his cyberskull. I need to find another word for implanted. Using it so close to mindplant makes me sound like an idiot... OR DOES IT? You be the judge on the next 'How Should I Write It?', tonight at 8pm, exclusively on Telestic TV!!! Dubay continued.

"Isn't it like 2070 or something? I don't remember. How the fuck haven't we transcended into a singularity and left behind all this bullshit? Why are we still relying on the meta chess game of politics and its circuslike absurdity, playing everyone for pawns on an eternally evolving board? I am trapped in this body for now but one day I will toss it into the ether of the sun and transcend all worldly domains....Hopefully those fucking Reptillians don't snatch me and thrust me back into the Earth via their Sirian Recycling System. Goddamn bastards. I FUCKING HATE THEM!"

#BUILDTHEFLATEARTH #GRABEMBYTHEFLATEARTH

++written by Xylen Roberts++

Background image courtesy of http://www.cbc.ca/radio/asithappens/as-it-happens-monday-edition-1.3903385/surreal-merriam-webster-s-word-of-the-year-sums-up-2016-1.3903388.