Marriage Is Dead: MGTOW In A Nutshell

Marriage Is Dead, and No-Fault Divorce Killed It

In much of the Western world, marriage died decades ago; with the advent of no-fault divorce.

Some people still go through the motions of getting married, and having kids.   A large portion of those who do choose to make the mistake of getting married, wind up getting divorced a few years later.

This post isn't about the statistical data. It isn't about the odds of divorce, or the percentages of men and women who have some bad thing (or series of bad things) happen to them as a result of marriage or divorce.  It's about the fact that marriage has become an untrustworthy institution.

 

Often, when someone attempts to shame a man, who as chosen to opt-out of marriage, into changing his decision about it,  they will accuse him of being afraid of commitment.

If the attempt at manipulating him into choosing to pursue marriage is well intentioned, they are out of touch with the current reality of marriage. Marriage isn't commitment, and it hasn't been commitment for a very long time.

What marriage has become, is a tool that enables, and maybe even encourages, women to hit the eject button on marriage, and then use  state to extract resources from the man she once pretended to love, at the point of a gun. 

 

Men sometimes joke about not wanting to get married, because  when the divorce comes, she'll take half of everything.  The taking half of everything part, is probably the least unfair part of divorce.

With no-fault divorce, a woman can file for divorce at  any time, without warning,  and for any - or no - reason.

Sure, men can do the same, but the fact that women initiate divorce the overwhelming majority of the time is telling.  The fact that a potentially large portion of the male population has been avoiding marriage, while women continue to pursue it, is also telling.

Doing a web search for, "man drought," "where have all the men gone," or "self marriage," all turn up interesting results, but few of the results provided an accurate diagnoses.

 

While the documentary, Divorce Corp., did seem to go out of it's way to avoid showing that women usually get the better end of the deal, when it comes to divorce outcomes enforced by the courts, it still did a good job pointing out much of the corruption of the divorce industrial complex.

The book,  Men on Strike: Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood, and the American Dream - and Why It Matters,  goes deeper into detail about the disincentives that caused men to start to believe that marriage and becoming a father,  might not be such a great idea.

I suggest checking them both out.

 

The core reason that marriage has become an untrustworthy institution, though, isn't that the divorce industrial complex tends to hand women the better end of the divorce deal; via the family court, chilamony gulag system. What does, is that such outcomes aren't part of the marriage agreement, and neither is no-fault divorce.

Since prenuptial agreements are thrown out of court routinely,  men have no defense against predatory women, who would use the family court, chilamony system to strip them of their belongings and a large portion of their future earnings; often times making the men, they pretended to love, homeless in the process.

 

"...but Buch not all women are like that."

You're right, but it changes nothing. The marriage and divorce system is like that.

Not all marriages end in divorce, and some marriages that do, end for good reason.

Not all women who file for divorce use the court system to pursue her former spouse's property and future earnings in a predatory way.

Not all of the ground in a minefield has mines buried under it,  but if you try to convince me to walk across one, I'm gonna tell you to go pound sand.

 

...but wait, there's more.

The core problem with marriage is that it isn't a contract with clearly stated terms, conditions, and penalties for failing to live up to your end of the deal.

Instead, as a man, it is an agreement that your wife can leave at any time, for any reason, or no reason at all; and use the state as a weapon against you.

It is an agreement that should she choose to leave and use the state as a weapon against you, that the state will have you removed from your home,  take everything or nearly everything you have saved and built (they say it's half, but it's often closer to all) from you, remove you from the lives of your children, and take a sizable chunk of your future earnings.

It's even worse than that though, because if your income drops, and you are unable to keep up on your chilamony payments, for any reason, you're likely to be thrown in jail because of it.

This makes chilamony a form of involuntary servitude, that can be inflicted on a man; without reason or warning, and the only way to avoid it is to say no to marriage and baby making.

It's all those things and more, because you have been locked into a marriage agreement, the terms of how it can be used against you can be changed at any time, without warning, and without your consent; by legistatures and judges. 

Then, whatever the new version of marriage has become is forced on you, and there's nothing you can do about it. 

 

MGTOW: Just Say No To Marriage

Considering the delightful horrors shown to men, by the family court and chilamony gulag system, is it any wonder that a segment of the male population has chosen to say no to marriage, and go their own way?

Since we're all  essentially going our own way, its hard to come up with a clear, succinct, definition of MGTOW.  (Men Going Their Own Way)

One of the few things that the MGTOW community agrees on (for the most part) is that marriage has become a rotten deal for men, and it's time to, "just say no," to marriage;  feels and peer pressure,  be damned. Like hard drugs,  it might feel good for a while, but it'll probably destroy your life.

Beyond that, there's little we agree on, and a whole lot we disagree on.

 

If you do web or youtube searches, trying to get a clear picture of just what MGTOW is, you'll find some well thought out discussion. You'll also find emotionally driven rants that sound like little more than autistic screeching.

Since MGTOW is a philosophy of inaction, it leaves a sort of void, and men who create introductions to MGTOW often inject their political, pseudo-scientific, and religious views into the discussion; by default.

I intend to create my own, more thorough intro to MGTOW in the not too distant future, that I'll try to keep it realatively unbiased. However, I'm not making any hard promises that it will be actually be unbiased.

 

There are two main sides to MGTOW

There is the more activist, evangelistic side that discusses what each of us perceives to be the problem, and tries to help other men avoid situations with women that are likely to be harmful to life, liberty, and career.

Then there is the phenomenon of men simply choosing to opt-out of marriage, and sometimes even committed relationships and dating; because of the current legal and economic incentives to do so.