a memory chapter 7
Personally looking at myself, I wonder. I have several great short stories beyond this adventure. All of them true to extent that people's imagination wonders at times. i was a wanderer in search of a perfect meal. You say only heaven has that meal nowadays. I realize at present. However, with chemistry in the mind who would believe me if I said that a piece of dirt at present can taste like the best cheese in the whole multiverse? That is it. Personally, I lacked some insight into people. I sought out thinkers, readers... If you look at my old Facebook friends versus those now. You could see the change. I had 2000 people who either wrote, were thinkers, or spoke on topics of interest to me. Here I have 3000 people of which none know me. I have actresses, actors, directors, when I seek out the authors, I had all I can find is a past poem that I wrote to them. None of our long conversations on what if this is that and why would the book end this way instead of that. That is what personally I can see this character having difficulty with. His friendship or connections have changed. Should I try to change the perceptional view of the people I am with? That I do not know anymore.
My daily habit for the first 80 days was to search for mount Illaminati or Illamani. I would get and walk. From my journal records, I would walk several different areas trying to see the elusive moving mountain. You say mountains don´t move. I say they and do to this day. You say you are nuts. Which I was called many a time when I would ask the identical person for directions to the elusive mountain. I finally gave up on entreating identical people and would implore strangers. It was and is a unique occurrence to see a blind guy wandering the streets, getting on lifts, taking taxis to see the moving mountain. After a while, you wonder. If this is faith in God, which I thought I had in my reality what will hope be? If you have faith as small as a mustard seed. So I started looking for God. That the bible would change was dilemna for me. I mean I knew my bible and here well you have zombies; you have different outcomes. You have exact numbers instead of numbers so vast you could not count. Either the math here was better, or you can count adjacent where in my reality the bible writer was not so accountable. lol. This leads me to read more of my journals, which keep on expanding.
His whole life is contradictory to what he should be doing. He was a reader, a writer of poetry. Boring beyond boredom. A night out with him was either a movie, or the bookstore. His kids enjoyed roller skating, skating, swimming. In yet that was prior to losing his foot. Since, then he has been boring. This whole adventure could be made up in his mind. In yet kicking the mountain seems to indicate that physically he is changing realities each night. Does anyone care? Does he care? What happens if you go farther than a CTC loop what happens at the curve? Is the loop going to go back to his time frame? He has not seen his world according to history, and the Internet for 2 billion years is that future even possible with the reality he sees now? What about the people he left behind are they okay? Did he do what was right? The awfulness of insularity makes the whole, I am stable. I am boring contradictory to the whole somehow I am now swept up into a closed time curved CTC loop, and no one cares and nothing seems to be able to be done about it. Does he just get to complain that your cheese sucks and warned you that humanity is more evil than his future, and you are at this moment following it to the biblical end?
Donde estas Illimante, MC asks. Mesmo lugar es simpler, respond. Pero por me, no. Illamanti had moved yet again. How to say you have faith in God enough to see worlds let alone centuries, let alone 2 billion years past in a blink of an eye is just awkward. Who cares? Evidently not people I would have expected to care. Why? What should I do? I am me. I know now that a closed time curved ctc loop exists. The question after realizing your soul has been thrown into a black hole created by CERN is the question was I evil? Does hoping backwards in time mean what? I did not believe in this in my reality. In yet, here I am. I ask questions and find discretion only leads to being censored even more. Like where is Seattle in this reality? It should be right next to Canada where I accidentally crossed over in 2002. In yet 100 or so miles away from Canada is Seattle today. Makes geographical location a question. The same with west to east. That has changed too. Wild, makes me wonder at times. Am I dead and this or you are all a dream? A final micro fiber firing in my mind showing me a past that has changed so little that I can fit in just by being quiet. In yet that was not me. I had balls.