V-S078

Common Name: Spewthanol
Memory length: One year
Danger rating: Very low

Description:

V-S078 is a large, flabby being of indeterminate weight. Approximations put it between six and seven hundred pounds. The garb it wears varies but is usually ill fitting, and the skin color is universally a very light pale, some saying it is also grayish in tint. The actual shape can very, but is usually comparable to a see based animal with stubby, otherwise humanoid arms and legs. It has sunken eyes, a large mouth with rounded teeth, and a nose matching the mouth in abnormal size. It does have long blue hair, which seems to mark it as a female, though it greatly disapproves of any gendered description being used when referring to it for unknown reasons.

Note: Obviously, given the physical form of V-S078, there will be comparisons made to V-S005, more commonly known as Slender Jim. However, it should be noted that V-S005 is a highly amicable Vorpal, whereas V-S078 is quite the opposite. It seems Humans and Vorpals alike despise, and are despised by, V-S078. At the time of this writing, no known relationship exists between V-S078 and V-S005.

Combat and Abilities:

No known combat aptitude or abilities worthy of note.

EDIT: Upon insistence by leadership, this will be expanded on. V-S078 is capable of movement, but only at a very slow speed. It could harm someone by rolling onto them, but the lack of meaningful mobility would require that individual be willfully ignorant of any danger, which is extremely unlikely.

EDIT 2: More detail was requested, despite repeated assertions that this is a very low priority entry. However, for the sake of completeness, requested details will now be added.

The other known tactic for V-S078 is to request help from other Vorpals. This has been observed on multiple occasions, especially when test subjects remain in visual range while outside physical range of V-S078. Occasionally, a nearby Vorpal will respond to the call, but is usually more preoccupied with just having the test subjects physically moved away from V-S078 rather than actually attacking in earnest.

This represents a new potential strategy for placating highly dangerous or vicious Vorpals for the purposes of study, as a request from V-S078 for assistance in attacking anything seems to cause great annoyance towards V-S078 while reducing animosity towards the targets for removal when compared to neutral situations. It is unknown exactly why this occurs, nor how to properly utilize this when V-S078 is known to self destruct when contained for transportation.

EDIT 3: No, the self destruct is largely harmless to bystanders. It is more of a method for escaping rather than an attempt to cause harm to those around it. Or, if it is an honest attempt to cause harm to those around it, such attempt is just as ineffectual as everything else V-S078 attempts.

Conclusion:

V-S078 is so non threatening, it makes nearby Vorpals less threatening by its mere existence. If this was exploitable, it would be useful, but since attempts to proactively use this effect have overwhelmingly been fruitless, V-S078 has no reason for further research. For this reason, all testing involving V-S078 must first establish how results will be potentially beneficial, otherwise all funding requests can and will be rejected with no further consideration required. Engaging is discouraged as being pointless, but is deemed safe as long as one is not a complete imbecile or a literal child.