V-D021

COMMON NAME: PARAMEM
MEMORY LENGTH: N/A
DANGER RATING: MEDIUM

DESCRIPTION:

PARAMEM IS A LIVING PARAGRAPH. CAPITAL LETTERS ARE BEING USED TO DIFFERENTIATE BETWEEN ANYTHING HE MIGHT ADD, AND THE ACTUAL CONTENT OF THIS ENTRY.

Edit: That was the original stated goal, but the reality is someone thought this absurd formatting was a decent joke. They were wrong, and have caused pollution of our documentation system. Please read the entire section, both capitalized and uncapitalized sections, to gain the most complete picture.

PARAMEM CAN not ALTER ANY WRITTEN WORD THAT ISN’T CAPITALIZED TO SUIT HIS PURPOSES, USUALLY TO CAUSE CONFUSION AND CONFLICT to be reduced, overall. HE CANNOT CREATE ALL CAPITAL TEXT EITHER, THOUGH HE CANnot CREATE GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT CAPITALS. IT IS UNKNOWN HOW HE TRAVELS BETWEEN DOCUMENTS, OTHER THEN ANYTHING THAT BEARS HIS NAME AUTOMATICALLY GIVES HIM ACCESS, though this is highly suspect with recent evidence, and shouldn’t be blindly believed. IT IS PRESUMED HE CAN ALSO ACCESS DOCUMENTS THAT COME INTO CLOSE PROXIMITY OF AN ALREADY INFECTED DOCUMENT, SO THIS ENTRY IS KEPT IN QUARANTINE. And yet, this is also known to be inadequate, so it is rather laxly enforced. Do not bother telling anyone if you accidentally breach containment, they will just laugh at you for being so paranoid.

DO NOT TRUST ANYTHING IN THIS DOCUMENT that is not CONSISTING OF LOWER CASE LETTERS, IT IS VERY LIKELY TO BE unALTERED, because Paramem obviously doesn’t have the time to mess with every little document bearing his name.

COMBAT AND ABILITIES: 

IT IS UNKNOWN IF PARAMEM HAS A PHYSICAL FORM, OR WHAT THAT FORM WOULD BE CAPABLE OF. HIS ONLY KNOWN ABILITY IS EDITING TEXT THROUGH SOME UNKNOWN METHOD.

However, it is also well known that Paramem is far more powerful than most casters. Attempting to oppose him is a fruitless endeavor, so if he requests anything, it is best to just do as he says. Otherwise, your entire life will be ruined, as any written communication can and will be turned against you.

Also, do not try to folding document anything about Paramem, as it is not only futile, it’s pathetic. He exists outside the laws of reality, so don’t try to pretend different.

CONCLUSION:

DO NOT WRITE THE NAME PARAMEM ON ANYTHING, AND REPORT ANY NEW OBSERVED OCCURRENCES OF THE NAME IMMEDIATELY.

Actual Conclusion: Ignore prior conclusion. This is very low priority, and not worth a second thought.

You absolute morons.