Response to NowThis Politics' Paradoy Song on FB

This is long, but I felt the need to respond almost line-by-line to this feminist music VIDEO (mocking men for feeling like they're under attack) which is making it's rounds through the intellectually challenged, emotionally motivated among us:

"I can't walk to my car late at night while on my phone."

I regularly, and for years, have done my grocery shopping after 10pm so as to avoid taking my children with me to the store. Never once have I been assaulted - while on the phone or otherwise.

"I can't open my windows when I'm home alone."

Bitch, where do you live? Move your ass out of there. If that's your reality, you live where it's not safe for anyone.

"I can't go to a bar w/o a chaperone."

Why? Are you underaged? I was just out at a club/bar, by myself, less than 2 weeks ago and I was not only NOT assaulted but I met a whole bunch of cool people.

"I can't wear a miniskirt if it's the only one I own"

Are you trying to say, no woman can wear a miniskirt if she only owns one or are you asserting that you managed to procure a ukulele, a video recording device, and a place to record your bullshit, but that you're so poor you can only afford a miniskirt to cover your ass? Either way, I think you might be telling tales.

And, you CAN wear you're sexiest "fuck me" clothes out anytime you want, but stop pretending that you're wearing them for any other reason than attracting attention from whatever gender you like to have sex with and, then, make sure you know how to turn down advances from those with whom you don't want to have sex. It's SUPER easy to do.

"I can't use public transportation after 7pm"

Only when mommy gives you a curfew. Grown-ups do just fine on public transportation at night. And, if you're nervous, carry mace and/or a weapon on your person. Easy-peasy. 

"I can't be brutally honest when you slide into my DMs"

Um, yes. Yes you can. In fact one of my absolute favorite things about men is their ability to, superiorly to women, handle brutal honesty. However, there is that whole "do onto others as you'd have done to you" thing and my guess is that you don't enjoy brutal honesty when it's given to you.

"I can't go to the club just to dance with my friends"

Again, why not? I went to the club on my own and some of those cool people I met were people there just to dance with their friends.

"And, I can't ever leave my drink unattended."

I'll give you that one sweetheart - keep practicing that - because, most of the time, this wouldn't be an issue, but the stakes are high enough that you don't want to chance some crazy drugging you. However, do note, #notall - not by a long shot.

"It's really tough when your reputation is on the line and any woman you've assaulted could turn up anytime."

When your reputation is on the line because someone "turns up" to accuse you of something you didn't do, let's you and I revisit these thoughts.

"Yeah, it sure is a scary time for guys: Can't speak to any woman or look her in the eyes. It's so confusing, is it rape of just being nice?"

Yup. And, mocking songs by stupid twats, like you, contribute to the general sense that men no longer can chance being what they think is "nice".

"I can't live in an apartment if it's on the first floor."

Well, not if you don't have a job and you don't take responsibility for procuring your living quarters competitively as, first floor apartments are coveted and whiny bitches aren't usually characterized by go-getter-ish-ness. Otherwise, there's no reason to believe you can't.

"I can't wear silk pajamas when I answer the door"

See what I mean? You own silk pajamas but you're whining about all the things you FEEL like you can't do. Me? I live in my pj's and I don't wear a bra unless I'm going out. If you show up at my house unannounced? That's how I answer the door. I sometimes wonder if it gives the UPS guy a thrill, and I have to wonder because not once has anyone made an advancement on me from my doorway.

"I can't have another drink even if I want more"

It's good practice for everyone to not get drunk - get out of control - in public. A myriad of really stupid, dangerous things happen to both genders when they're out of control among people they don't know and, thus, couldn't begin to trust.

"And, I can't make you feel invalid, unseen, or ignored"

There's that whole people pleasing struggle, YOU seem to have, cropping up it's ugly head again. There are those of us out here who have no trouble invalidating people and ignoring them. It's called self confidence and a good sense of personal boundaries. Oh, and, again, I wonder how you do with being invalidated, being unseen and ignored? I'm guessing you'd probably write a song to work out your emotions.

"I can't jog around the city with headphone on my ears"

Well, if you're crossing the street, that's wise, but otherwise, plug in and stop worrying so much! Gee-freakin'-wiz, you sound super anxious and high maintenance. 

"I can't speak against my rapist after 35 years"

Well, you should probably speak out right away - and to the police or to your big guy friend who believes in direct action - but if you're going to wait 35 years, maybe write down the specifics of what happened in a journal so you don't forget them when you conveniently start speaking up in order to stop him from getting a position of power.

"I can't be taken seriously if I'm holding back tears"

Yes, you can, my dear, if you wipe those tears away and get back into the conversation, hold your own, and don't make the conversation revolve around those tears.

"And I can't ever speak earnestly about all these fears"

Yes, you can, BUT you have to be willing to hear why some of your fears may not be valid, aren't everyone's experience, and may be mostly in your head.

"Can't text a girl, repeatedly, asking for nudes"

Nice strawman you set up there. There's a block feature for ridding your experience of assholes. Use it.

"Can't make a girl have sex when she's not in the mood"

WOW. So many strawmen … maybe they're the only kind of men she feels comfortable with? No one defends this behavior. Like, literally, no one. 

"And, what gives her the right to give you attitude?"

You have the right - by nature's God - to give attitude to whoever the hell you want to, but you don't have the right to expect the people, you gave it to, to put up with it. I'm guessing you don't so, what's your problem here?

"Girls like to act like you're to blame and they're the victims"

ACT? Nah, Half this nation's vaginas aren't acting. They really believe the shit you're spewing in this stupid song.

"It's not such a scary time for boys. They've always had the upper hand, they've always had a choice. It's time for women to rise up, use our collective voice. The day to vote is Nov. 6 so, let's go make some noise."

Was "Make me FEEL safe" on the ballot this year and I some how missed it? Nah, sweetheart. I'm not even sure how you think showing up to vote in November is going to make you less of a crazy bitch, but I got nothin' for ya'.

https://www.facebook.com/NowThisPolitics/videos/1879668325435157/UzpfSTEwMDAwMDYxOTI4NTI0NzoyMDkzNTA2MDI3MzQ2Njg2/