Time - Poetry and a Rant

Time, it runs like a train,

flies like a plane.

Taken for granted, with no care,

gone it will be, wasted, none to spare.

With me, my precious time will one day die,

when is unbeknownst to me, so that is why:

"Please grant me my time, leave me to my chores,

don't be a dick and mind my time as I mind yours."

Why I wrote this

[Rant alert]

I usually don’t explain my poems. But this one is more out of annoyance and anger (ok, many are) and with a more direct point. It’s part of my philosophy and this I am willing to explain.

Time is valuable. Very valuable. They say time is money, and I say that ‘they’ are wrong. Time is actually more valuable than money, if not priceless. Money one loses can be earned back. It doesn’t have to be lost for ever. It is up to the individual however, to get said money back. Time however, we can’t get back. It moves forward at its steady pace of sixty seconds per minute, and only forward. You lose time, it will be lost forever. You will never get it back, ever. And you’ll never know how much time there is left. You’ll know how much is lost, but not what’s left. We could die in 40 years, we could die tomorrow. No one knows for sure. Unless you plan to commit suicide, than you kinda know.

In this day and age, I have noticed that time seems to be something taken for granted. Specially, other people’s time. And I blame the way our society uses social media and the rise of entitlement that comes with it. I have noticed that there are more and more people, that think they are entitled to other people’s time whenever they see fit.

“I saw you read my message? Why didn’t you text back? Is 2 minutes of you time so much to ask?” Why I did not answer, you ask? Oh, maybe because it’s ten in the fucking evening, maybe because I don’t feel like talking at that time, maybe because I was busy doing things that are more important than some stupid text that is no emergency. Oh, and maybe, just MAYBE, if you’d stop texting and scrolling facebook while actually hanging out with me when we do, you wouldn’t feel the need to text me when we’re not hanging out. You probably also sent that message when you were hanging out in real life, with someone else. Consider two person’s time wasted.

Social media has distorted the way people used to socialise. Today, people hang out with each other while ignoring each other, because facebook is more interesting. Today, people think it’s ok to text during dinner time and expect you to drop dinner to reply. Today, people think it’s ok to force themselves into your precious time and expect that you giveth them.

I love technology. But I hate social media. My time is valuable. I love hanging out, but I do need to plan. And when we do hang out, don’t be a dick and waste our time (and thus my time) by being glued to your phone. When I hang out, I want to spend my time with you. Talk, laugh, do things together, go dance, watch a movie, whatever. But spending time with someone who isn’t really there with me, but rather on instagram or whatever narcissist-breeding-online-space, is wasting time. It makes me look at my phone out of boredom (and unintentionally end up doing the same dickish thing you're doing). I could’ve spent that time doing something more useful. I know that this is what people do this day, but I’m not like that. I’m 25 years old but hella old fashioned when it comes to socialising. The moment I hang out with someone, is the time I am available for that someone. At home, I am not, unless there is an emergency with someone I deeply care about.

This use of social media comes with a huge sense of entitlement, as I’ve said before. And not only amongst family and friends. In the workplace, it now seems to be ok to send a message on Sunday (an already ungodly day) at an ungodly hour to quickly reschedule your schedule last minute. Example: A text on Sunday at 8 pm asking to come in early the next day. What? Just because we can do that now? Just because we can, doesn’t mean it’s considerate or even remotely respectful. See, this is what happens with folks like me, when getting obligatory messages: We are pressured to answer. We are ripped from what we were doing and are now stressed because we have to make a last minute decision that could cause discontent to our employer if it's not what they want to hear. So we also feel pressured to say yes. Because last minute seems to be an emergency at work. Messages like these, to me (and this may be my own problem, but still, the time and day is still inconsiderate), don’t leave a lot of choice. They feel pressured.

I already mentioned that I hate social media. I only have Twitter and use it very little. I hate that apps are now built in a way where people can see when their sent messages have been read. I long for the days that people had to write letters or call each other to reach each other. Someone like me can’t answer to today’s expectations of socialising. I’m easily distracted. I need my time to work at my future. I also have ADHD, which makes planning very VERY hard for me. Whenever that gets changed last minute, I snap and panic. I am flexible. I am ok with being called days in advanced or talk about my schedule AT work. I’m ok with planning for when to hang out and catch up on each other. I am however, not a dog that jumps whenever people expect me to. When I write, I write and won’t answer messages. When I play music, I cannot be disturbed. And people expecting me to be disturbed just because of their needs or because they fail to properly plan a schedule, makes me angry. It makes me look at today’s society as if it’s filled with selfish assholes who think they can force their need for attention onto others. And the work thing, just makes me unhappy at work. I love my job and always love to work extra days. But in return, I want this to be settled at work, not when I’m at home trying to relax.

There was a time when people said: “There is a time for this and a time for that.” This doesn’t seem to fly anymore. Structure is lost, on a social level. Expectations make some entitled and others feeling pressured to answer at all times only to avoid conflict or the common (to me) Gestapo-like questions on why I couldn’t, wouldn’t, didn’t answer a stupid text. Some even have the nerve to drag a to them valid enough excuse out of me, for not getting back at them when they expected me to. You know what? Fuck your expectations. I get back at you when I get back at you and don’t worry, if it’s important, I’ll answer.

People used to let other people into their lives. Now, people force themselves into other’s lives with their messages and expect the other person to just let them in whenever they expect them too. I hate it. And I know people find me weird for hating on it. When I tell them I don’t have facebook, they look at me as if I’m breaking the law. Some even pressure me to make a new account. No. Hell no. I'm not giving people more tools to interfere with my time. You want me to make time for you? Than don’t waste it in the first place.

Same for work. Leave employees alone when they’re not at work. This is a major cause for burnouts, the constant texting, mailing, calling, outside of work hours. My job doesn’t require me to be available at all times so I shouldn’t have to be available at all times and I have a right not to feel pressured to be available at all times. It’s bad for what's left of my sanity. I don't have much of that left either. So don't take that away from me as well.

I know there are others my age who’d agree with me. I know I’m not alone in this. Now, speaking completely for myself, I love people and hate to see them as selfish assholes. Yet, lately, that is how the people around me present themselves to me. I’m also a very giving person. I’d rather say yes than no. I love to help. But my giving is not to be taken for granted. I have limits too. I used to give to everyone and forget myself often. I’m slowly learning that this is bad for me. People have taken me for granted, a lot. And it still happens. I give a lot of my time away for others. But I’m stopping this now… the moment I feel that my giving nature is taken for granted, I decide that this person doesn’t deserve my caring and time. I’m highly allergic to selfishness. Because it breaks people like me. So if I consider you a rational human being able to consider my time and you don’t do that, I’m done with you. I only have more understanding for animals, children, the mentally disabled and certain types of mental illnesses since they don’t understand the concept of “time” and that it can be wasted. But I expect more from an adult who can think rationally.

Social media is turning our society into needy, selfish people. Modern times forget how important one's time actually is. And I’m not going to be a part of that. I know I do enough, if not too much, for others. So the only thing I feel entitled to in this matter, is my time. Not yours, not my mother’s, but MY time. And so should anyone else. Your time is precious, mine is as well. We all die one day so don’t waste other people’s time. You do whatever you want with yours, but don’t expect people to just take some of their time just because you expect them to. Check your entitlement. Some people just don’t like to be disturbed at certain times. Seriously, whoever feels spoken to when reading this should think about respect, what it means and how to give it. That is all. Sorry for ranting.

Kat out.

[Image by RainkatLitman© - Also on my Wordpress]