The Art Of Permission

Introduction

It's amazing how much we hold ourselves back from what we want, isn't it? We refuse to pursue that business idea because we fear failure. We refuse to take that much needed vacation because we fear shame. We refuse to pursue that love interest because we fear pain. We fear because we refuse and we refuse because we fear. Whatever you may be refusing to do, you do it because you refuse to grant yourself permission to do so. Have you ever thought that maybe, just MAYBE, you aren't exactly where you want to be in life right now simply because you haven't allowed yourself to? Could it really that be simple? Are you not where we want to be because you refused either consciously or subconsciously? Have you refused yourself permission?

Permission in action 

The idea of "The Art Of Permission" is a simple one. You aren't where you want or need to be because you haven't given yourself permission to do so, yet. Let's think about this for a moment. When we refuse to go to the gym, what are we giving ourselves permission to do? We are giving ourselves permission to be unhealthy. "I'll go tomorrow" or, "I need a rest today" can almost literally translate to "Today I am giving myself permission to slack". "Today I am giving myself permission to be a little less healthy." True, we all have those days when we actually may need rest. However, we must remember that permission is a decision, and decisions can and will be repeated if you allow them to. How many days in a row have you granted yourself permission to skip the gym? Become late on your bills? Avoid seeing your friends? Not asking your boss for a raise that you KNOW you deserve? How much longer are you going to give yourself permission to be in that miserable relationship? How much longer are you going to grant yourself permissions to receive things don't want? How much longer are you going to give yourself permission to suffer. A question that can only be answered by you. Ironically, these are all questions that you must give yourself permission to ask. 

Are you beginning to see a pattern here? You. The life you want is a door, and permission is the key. The hard part isn't just finding door. The hard part is also finding key. The point of "The Art Of Permission" isn't to make you feel bad, though it may, though it should; it's put power back within your hands. You are in control of nearly everything happens around and to you. Permission is the key to a life, love, and happiness. 

I can't/won't tell you what you want to hear...

I've read hundreds of self-help blogs, articles, books, magazines, you name it. Though many were outstanding, many were not. My biggest problem with some of these readings is that they all do one thing. They tell you exactly what you want to hear not what you NEED to hear. Sometimes want what we want, isn't what we need. "You're perfect just the way you are," they advise. "Ignore criticism and just do you," another author may say. I'll admit, hearing that we are perfect, and we don't need to change is nice, but if we aren't careful, these words of affirmation can be counterproductive at least and harmful at most. I'm not saying we need to be roasted into oblivion, I'm simply saying that we must acknowledge the fact that we are humans, and humans aren't perfect. To except yourself as perfect is to give yourself permission to seize growth in all realms of your life. As a 25-year-old male, I understand that I'm in no position to guide others through life. I don't want to be seen as a life coach, guide, councilor or therapist. I want to be seen as a fellow journeyman, a student of life, exploring the topic of personal responsibility and growth through "The Art Of Permission." 

Moving forward...

Over the last several weeks, I've thought very deeply about the mental barriers I've put up against myself and what exactly these barriers are. Most of these barriers have been weakened or completely destroyed after I've implemented "The Art of Permission" into my life. The problem that I've encountered is that self-permission isn't so straight forward, it's complicated and various, depending on the situations, feelings and current experiences. I believe that by following the permissions below, we can better understand our barriers that many of us suffer from.

1. Permission To Live

2. Permission To Fear

3. Permission To Love

4. Permission To Feel

5. Permission To Fight

6. Permission To Fail

7. Permission To Succeed

8. Permission To Think

9. Permission To Lead

10. Permission To Die

In no particular order, and a few of these permissions will either change or disappear completely as my writings continue.

I would be a liar if I said I had these practices down to a tee. With that being said, I hope that by writing and articulating my thoughts, we can grow together. I'm completely open to all forms of constructive criticism and ideas as the months go on. I'm not sure where this is going to go, but as the wise man once said "Expect nothing, appreciate everything."

-Forrest Munden