Wednesday Jokes!

For those who take Life far too seriously

1. A day without sunshine is like...night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers

3. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

4. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

5. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

6. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

7. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

9. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

10. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

11. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

12. Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

13. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges

14. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

15. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.

16. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

Little Known Facts - from a child's viewpoint!

A number of primary schools were doing a project on"The Sea." 

The kids were asked to write down or draw pictures about their experiences. Teachers got together to compare the results and put together some of the "better "ones.


1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)



2. Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock.They have to live in caves under the sea because I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)



3. Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)



4. If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all around you, you are incontinent. (Wayne age 7)



5. I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kyle age 6)



6. A dolphin breathes through an ass hole on the top of its head. (Billy age 8)



7. When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)



8. I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails.How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)



9. When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy shrink. (Kevin age 6)