Wednesday Jokes!

Right Direction

A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. 

Waiting for her date as she was, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up. 



Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red faced, knowing everyone in the place heard her, turns to the waiter and demands "Stop That!" 



The waiter looks at her dryly and says "Sure lady, which way was it headed?"

From a child's viewpoint

A number of primary schools were doing a project on"The Sea." The kids were asked to write down or draw pictures about their experiences. Teachers got together to compare the results and put together some of the "better "ones.

1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)

2. Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock.They have to live in caves under the sea because I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)

3. Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

4. If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all around you, you are incontinent. (Wayne age 7)

5. I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kyle age 6)

6. A dolphin breathes through an assh*le on the top of its head. (Billy age 8)

7. When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)

8. I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails.How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)

9. When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy shrink. (Kevin age 6)