Thursday Jokes!

Name problems

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.



One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me....I know we've been friends for a long time....but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."



Her friend looked at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

Private parts

An old man, Mr. Goldstein, was living the last of his life in a nursing home. One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked if there was anything wrong.

"Yes, Nurse Tracy," said Mr. Goldstein, "My Private Part died today, and I am very sad."



Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes little crazy, she replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Goldstein, please accept my condolences."



The following day, Mr Goldstein was walking down the hall with his private part hanging out his pajamas, when he met Nurse Tracy.



"Mr. Goldstein," she said, "You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that. Please put your private part back inside your pajamas"



"But, Nurse Tracy," replied Mr. Goldstein, "I told you yesterday that my private part died."



"Yes, you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?"



"Well," he replied, "Today's the viewing before burial."

THE SENILITY PRAYER?


Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.