Sunday Jokes!

Can you believe these genuine emergency calls? :o(

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?


Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.

Dispatcher: Do you have an address?


Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?



Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?


Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.


Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one?


Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.



Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?


Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart?
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?


Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!



Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?


Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich. Dispatcher: Excuse me?


Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?


Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it!



And the winner has to be..........


Dispatcher: 9-1-1?


Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.


Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?


Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.


Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?


Caller: No?
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?


Caller: Running from the Police.